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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities.

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities.
#show #temperatures #hours #sunshine #year #three #cities
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The line graph illustrates the
temperature
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 in three
cities
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 on a monthly average,
while
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 the table gives information about how many
sunshine
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 hours annually in those different
cities
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.
Overall
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, the monthly
temperature
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trend
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 in
London
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 and New
York
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 has similar directions,
whereas
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 the
temperature
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trend
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 in
Sydney
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 is
in contrast
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.
Although
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London
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 and New
York
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 have almost the same way of monthly
temperature
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 trends, the average amount of
sunshine
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 per
year
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 is not the same. The average monthly climate in
London
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 and New
York
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 is an upward
trend
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 from the beginning of the
year
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 to around July, which peak at around 23 and nearly 30, respectively. After that, the temperatures in both
cities
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 decrease gradually until they reach the low
temperature
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 in December at just under 10 in
London
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 and exactly 5 in New
York
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.
However
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, the weather in
Sydney
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 contrasts with those
cities
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, starting at just above 25 and
then
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 slightly declining to around 16 in July, which is the lowest-
temperature
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 month in
Sydney
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, and ,
afterwards
Add a comma
,afterwards
show examples
 the
trend
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is rise
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is rising
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 slowly back to 25 in December In terms of
sunshine
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 hours per
year
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,
London
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 is the city with the least
sunshine
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, about 1,180 per
year
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.
Although
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 the climate
trend
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 is similar to New
York
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, the average number of sunlight annually differs as much by 1,355. With
Sydney
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, there is not much difference in the
sunshine
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 in the
year
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 compared to New
York
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, which accounts for 2,473 and 2,535 in
Sydney
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 and New
York
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, respectively.
Submitted by Taninnuch.tha on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words temperature, cities, sunshine, trend, london, york, sydney, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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