Many people think that personal happiness is directly related to economic success. Others argue that happiness depends on other factors. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #happiness #success #factors

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There is no denying the fact that the main cause of well-being is arguable.

While

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it is a commonly held belief that financial satisfaction is the main reason for personal welfare.

On the other hand

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, others believe that well-being depends on other

things

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This

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essay will discuss both arguments and provides my own opinion. There are

people

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who associate welfare with financial satisfaction. The main reason for believing

this

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is that having a high amount of money may allow the individual to purchase whatever he wants which makes him relaxed and happy.

For instance

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, wealthy

people

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can buy an island

for example

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and can bring

people

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to serve them, they will not need to worry about anything in their future

as well as

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will not feel stressed out because their salary was late. Sadly,

this

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is a kind of high-quality life that individuals with limited finance will never afford and have.

Thus

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this

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makes it clear that wealth can make

the

Correct article usage

show examples

person happier.

On the other hand

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, others argued that well-being depends on other stuff. The population often have

this

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opinion because they think that other

things

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such

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as family can increase personal welfare.

For example

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, a prestigious journal article published that 70% of the public who have limited finance reported that they feel very happy as they have family around them and supported them. Interestingly, those populations feel high well-being even though they have limited money as their family means

every thing

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everything

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to them and

this

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is a kind of feeling that might never be found in most wealthy

people

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. Indeed, it becomes apparent that other factors

such

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as family support can make individuals happy more than anything else. In conclusion, both arguments have their merits. On balance,

however

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, I strongly believe that other

things

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such

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as family support can make

people

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happy and increase their well-being.

This

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is because

people

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are different and they will find happiness in different

things

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not only money.

Submitted by mgumssan on Fri Feb 24 2023

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9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

325 words

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