In today's world many people own a smart phone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

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In the modern era, a smartphone is a part of numerous individuals' possessions.

This

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writer believes that the advantages of having

access

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to the internet and keeping in touch with others at all times far outweigh the chance of losing data to hackers. First of all, the most advantageous factor of having a smartphone is that it can provide

access

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to the internet.

In other words

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, people can

use

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various web browsers on their

phones

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to look up information or make

use

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of the entertainment that they give.

Consequently

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, mobile

phone

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users do not have to be bored as they will always have something to do on their

phone

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Thus

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, mobile

phones

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are useful devices for everybody. Another beneficial factor that needs to be considered is the communication methods smartphones provide. These methods can be

phone

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calls or messages which are both very effective and fast, unlike letters.

As a result

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, people can speak to their loved ones at all times, and they can make

use

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of emergency calls when they find themselves in dire situations.

Therefore

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, smartphones are trustworthy tools for many individuals.

However

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, some people believe that there are hackers who can gain

access

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to the information on their

phone

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wirelessly. They

also

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think that they can lose large amounts of money or data by the same method so they would rather

use

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home computers.

While

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this

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point is valid, most

phones

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now have advanced defence systems which are impossible to break through.

Due to

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the system, no person in the technological era should worry about hacks through mobile

phones

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To conclude

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, I believe that the risk of being hacked is outweighed by the benefits of having

access

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to the internet and contact with others.

Therefore

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, having a

phone

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is not a bad decision in the modern world.

Mon Jan 08 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph presents a clear main idea and that the ideas progress logically from one to another. Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas across sentences and paragraphs more effectively.

task achievement

Fully address all parts of the task, ensuring that your position is relevant and well supported with specific examples. Expand on the points you make by providing more detailed evidence and arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

300 words

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In today's world many people own a smart phone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is whether there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. It is undeniable that the justice system has become an essential part of our life

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that in many cities around the world there are constant traffic jams. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from owning cars?

: Some people say that traffic accidents are caused by the increasing number ò motorbikes. Other blame for man’s fault. Which point of view do you agree ?

Directors of large organizations earn much higher salaries than ordinary employees do. Some people believe it is necessary, but others think that it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.