IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

certain people believe that the only way to reduce crime is sentencing criminals for longer time period, while others believe alternative methods should be used to lower crimes. Discuss both sides and give your opinions.

#people #crime #criminals #time #period #alternative #methods #crimes
increasing the
sentence
 and having criminals in
jail
 is thought by some that
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 just the only
way
 to decrease
crimes
, on the other ,hand others are thinking that other methods ought to be applied to reduce
crimes
.In my ,opinion I believe the application of other methods
such
 as
education
 and
government
 support should be used. On the one hand, there are
people
 who believe that there is just one
way
 to reduce
crimes
 which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 having longer sentences. it is obviously thought because many criminals when they just left
jail
 immediately commit another crime. So
people
 who are on the other side being victims of them are totally afraid of
this
 situation finding as only solution applying longer sentences to have them in
jail
 as much it is possible.
On the other hand
, others who believe in different methods like
education
 are thinking that the best
way
 to reduce
crimes
 is by giving them more opportunities than they had before like Introducing
education
 during the
sentence
.
for example
 not only paying the
sentence
 with time
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 having obligations to complete the
sentence
such
 as, study a degree or getting soft skills. in , additional
government
 support like close following the individual case after the next week finished their
sentence
 helps them to reinsert themself into society again. In my ,opinion a believe that the best
way
 to reduce the
crimes
 on the streets is having a stronger
education
 system which will give the population a strong direction to go. Of course.
as well as
 the support of the
government
. having programs with more opportunities for that
people
 to try to insert those again into the communities to avoid falling into committing
crimes
 again.
to conclude
, there are
people
 who believe that the only
way
 to reduce
crimes
 is having criminals in
jail
 for longer.
while
 others believe that the best
way
 is supporting them with
education
 and
government
 programs to re-insert them into society again.
Submitted by gonzalofuentesvg on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: