IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Archaeology is partly the discovery of treasures of the past, partly the work of the scientific analyst, partly the exercise of the creative imagination. Do you agree or disagree?

#archaeology #discovery #treasures #work #analyst #exercise #imagination
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The problem of whether or not a big metropolis is bad for health sparked a heated debate.
While
 some argue that megapolises don't
have
Verb problem
pose
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 a danger to humanity, I contend that those centres have a huge impact on our organisms and lifestyle. There are two main reasons why living in a big municipality is irrelevant to society. One of them is that megapolises establish a
big
Correct word choice
large
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 number of factories and plants.
This
 phenomenon has a negative influence on our lungs and skin. Another cogent reason is products which are sold in supermarkets are not healthy and are sometimes dangerous for
consuming
Replace the word
consumption
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. Big capitalists don't have an opportunity to grow up fresh vegetables and fruits and because of that they should make artificial products with the addiction to drugs.
For instance
,
according to
 the
statics
Correct your spelling
statistics
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 of the Worldwide Health Community seventy per cent of city dwellers die from lung cancer. I personally believe that living in the countryside and suburbs are relatively positive for several reasons with the one being nature and clean air.
In addition
, existence in villages is more pleasant.
Also
, products
such
 as vegetables and fruits are more affordable in these places. Countrysides have great conditions for growing
up
Change preposition
apply
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a crop.
To conclude
, dwelling in
big
Correct article usage
a big
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 downtown would lead to a negative impact on health, especially in factories and plants which make the air dirty and dangerous.
However
, recognizing the importance of the
big
Correct word choice
large
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 number of diseases it is advisable to encourage the government to be attentive and serious about
this
 problem.
Submitted by tiwari.abhishek166 on

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task response
Improve on providing relevant and credible evidence to support the main points.
coherence and cohesion
Work on structuring the essay more effectively, with clearer coherence and linking of ideas throughout the essay.
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