It is not necessary for people to travel to other places to learn about the culture. We can learn as much as from books, films and the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There may be divergent views regarding whether individuals should visit other areas to learn about the culture.
While
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some
people
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think it is beneficial to learn
according to
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books
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, movies, and websites, I am convinced by the view that learning about
cultures
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from a trip is more advantageous. There are several reasons why
people
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learn about
cultures
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through
books
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, movies and the Internet.
Firstly
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, readings, movies, and online sources provide extensive information about a range of
cultures
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.
For example
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, the Internet offers a platform for diverse perspectives from
people
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around the world, and social media
such
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as Instagram and Facebook enable contemporary insights into different
cultures
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.
Secondly
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,
books
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and digital resources are more convenient and
cost effective
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cost-effective
show examples
compared to
traveling
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travelling
show examples
. They allow
people
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to stay at home and access resources that they are interested in from online platforms.
On the other hand
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, there are some individuals who argue that
traveling
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travelling
show examples
is superior to learning multiple
cultures
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.
Trip
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The trip
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enables a first-hand experience that
books
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and digital resources cannot fully replicate. Engaging with locals, participating in a cultural event, and immersing oneself in the environment lead to a deeper understanding and appreciation of a culture.
Moreover
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,
although
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language can be learned through
books
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and websites, immersion in
a
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apply
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culture through
travel
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can promote practical language and oral speaking.
Additionally
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,
travel
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can provide
directly interact
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direct interaction
show examples
with local citizens, and their traditions and daily lives can provide actual experiences.
Thus
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, I strongly believe that
travel
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is more beneficial than
books
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and online materials. In conclusion,
although
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some
people
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worry that
travel
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might
results
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result
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in more expense and inconvenience, I am of the opinion that
people
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are inclined to visit other cities to learn
cultures
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.
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coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-structured and cohesive. However, try to ensure the logical flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs is a little smoother.
task achievement
You provided a complete response to the prompt with clear and comprehensive main points. Including more specific examples could enhance your arguments further.
coherence cohesion
Work on refining your transitions between ideas to make your essay even more fluid and coherent.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame your argument.
task achievement
You successfully articulated clear and comprehensive ideas in response to the essay prompt.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with logically supported main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural immersion
  • authentic experiences
  • diverse perspectives
  • comprehensive
  • historical context
  • facilitates
  • sensory and emotional depth
  • holistic understanding
  • cultural bias
  • stereotypes
  • discernment
  • virtual reality
  • convenience of access
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