IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

In many countries, traditional dress and costumes are considered effective ways of maintaining links with the past. How effective can traditional costumes be, in this sense? What other ways exist to help citizens connect with a country’s past?

#countries #dress #costumes #links #sense #citizens #country’s
Preserving connections with the past by using traditional clothes and attire is considered practical in many nations. In brief, I think it is less effective to just use traditional dress in maintaining the connection with the past, and there needs to be integration with another form of ways to maximize
this
. Traditional clothing could provide nations with clues about their history and heritage,
however
 in a sense it will not be efficient if only used as a type of wearable clothing. Some
people
 are keen on wearing traditional dress vibes to attract public attention or to stand out among the masses.
For example
, in some places like cafés or restaurants with classic themes, their employees use traditional dress as uniform to match its vibes. From
this
, it could be said that the purpose of wearing traditional wear is not only for historical purposes but profit-oriented. It drifts away from the nation's direction in cultural clothing.
On the other hand
, if traditional costumes are combined with some sort of events, it will be more effective in keeping the links with the past culture.
For example
, in Indonesia, the groom and bride will wear traditional attire in wedding ceremonies and some
people
 wear batik in certain national celebrations. These events will be more special
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
people
 want to maintain the traditions with not only the situation but
also
 the clothing usage in the events.
Thus
, it will directly lead the
people
 to feel the traditional vibes are the same as in the past. In conclusion, traditional apparel could be used to assist citizens link with the country’s past,
however
, it will be more effective to integrate it with some occasions like National Day
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve your essay, ensure that each paragraph clearly addresses a single main idea. This helps to maintain a focused and coherent argument throughout your essay. Try to develop each main point further with more detailed examples or explanations.
task achievement
In your introduction, clearly state your stance on the topic and how you plan to support it. This makes your position known from the beginning and sets a clear direction for your essay.
coherence cohesion
Use more varied and complex sentence structures to showcase your language skills. This can make your essay more engaging and demonstrate your linguistic proficiency to the examiner.
task achievement
In your conclusion, summarize the main points of your argument and restate your position in a compelling manner. This reinforces your stance and leaves a strong final impression.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: