IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Public health is becoming an urgent issue nowadays. Some argue that governments should create nutrition and food choice laws to improve public health, while others believe that it is a matter of personal choice and responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#health #argue #governments #nutrition #food #choice #laws #matter #responsibility
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
 modern era,
due to
 the hectic schedule of people, the consumption of unhealthy
food
 is aggravating unexpectedly.
Therefore
, public health become a tremendous issue in society which leads to serious problems among all age groups. Where some people think nutrition and
food
 choice laws must be introduced by governments to improve public health
while
 others assume that it is everyone's personal decision to choose
accordingly
.
This
 essay will explain both sides and give evidence as to why one is better than the other. To commence with, the busy schedule made the working population rely on junk
food
, and ready-to-eat foods nowadays which eventually leads towards bad
food
 choices.
However
,
this
 results in a deficiency of important nutrients among folks.
Therefore
, introducing strict laws by governments,
for instance
, by applying more taxes on unhealthy cuisine and the availability of healthy
food
 easily at cheap prices in the community can enhance public health. On the other side, all human beings are not the same which means all people cannot follow the same diet as some of them could be allergic to those foods
while
 others not. In order to stay healthy, one must need to plan their diet
according to
 their intolerance of different
food
, as it will be beneficial for themselves only.
Besides
this
, it is the individual 's responsibility and choice that matters utmost when choosing numerous healthy meals considering the affordability and availability of different
food
 in their regions.
To conclude
, I believe both views have their own merits,
thus
 personal choice should be encouraged as an individual knows better about themselves as compared to others who could make a decision on their behalf of them.
Nonetheless
, it would be more effective if governments should
also
 take enormous steps to ban unhealthy
food
 in the market
Submitted by kaurprabhjit24 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: