IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The number of households owning electrical appliances including washing machines, refrigerators and vacuum cleaners in an unknown country from 1920 to 2019 is depicted in the first line graph.
While
Linking Words
 the second line graph, which is below the first one, illustrates the time
consumption
Replace the word
consumed
show examples
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
 doing
housework
Add an article
the housework
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 each household each week.
Overall
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, it can be seen that there was an upward trend in the percentage of ownership of electrical products, and another critical point is that the owner of the fridge underwent a significant change.
In addition
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, there was a downward trend in the number of hours that
people
Use synonyms
 use to do household chores per week. In the first line graph, the proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 who owned washing machines increased slightly from 40% to more than 70%, followed by those who had vacuum cleaners saw a negligible rise from 30% to 100%.
Finally
Linking Words
, the proportion of ownership of refrigerators experienced a surge from 0 to 100% in 2000. Looking at the second chart, from 1920 to 1960, the amount of time that
people
Use synonyms
 used to do housework every week significantly decreased from 50% to 20%. After that, it still saw a gradual drop from 20% to roughly 11% from 1960 to 2019.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the more the owners of electrical gear rise, the more
people
Use synonyms
 spent time doing housework dip.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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