Some people say young people should be completely free to choose their future job but others think young people must be more realistic in their choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some argue that young
people
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ought to be totally free to make a decision about what they want to be in the
future
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,
while
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others think that young
people
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do not have experience enough to decide and they should take
advice
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from someone experienced about jobs. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion in the next paragraphs. On one hand, asking older
people
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’s
advice
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can be more realistic and beneficial to understand the labour market and what is required
from
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of
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them to do. Asking for
advice
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from experienced persons has advantages in choosing an accurate major that might provide a good
job
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in the
future
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. Knowing
this
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may help
also
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to know what qualifications you have to get and the
job
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requirements in your country that will help you build a successful career. To illustrate, some students after high school do not know what majors they have to choose, because they do not have enough information about
job
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requirements,
thus
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asking adults’
advice
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is a good idea for their
future
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. From my perspective, young
people
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should have the freedom to choose what they like because they will be more creative and talented in the field they have chosen.
On the other hand
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, young
people
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are responsible for deciding what they want and should be given the freedom to choose their career, because it gives them the power to study and try hard to achieve their goals. Motivation and perseverance are the secret of consistency and success which helps them to face challenges without feeling overwhelmed because they enjoy their work.
For instance
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, Thomson was not good at primary school, but he was very good at physics and with his mother’s encouragement, he had tried hard to discover electricity
due to
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his motivation and persistence. From my point of view, motivation and enthusiasm are crucial for anyone to succeed in life and that comes from achieving goals and doing whatever you want. In conclusion,
although
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asking an adult’s
advice
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about how to choose a better career could help to guarantee a good life in the
future
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, l think that young
people
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should choose what their
future
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jobs are because it is important for their mental health far from depression and pressure
,
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apply
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because they will enjoy with their dream
job
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.
Submitted by ghazl.1998g on

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Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure each paragraph progresses clearly from one point to the next, with smooth transitions. Consider using signposting language like 'Firstly,' 'Moreover,' and 'In contrast,' especially when introducing new ideas.
Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, make sure that each viewpoint is equally developed with balanced evidence or examples. Strengthen your arguments by providing more specific examples where necessary.
Task Achievement
The essay effectively discusses both viewpoints and provides a clear opinion in the introduction and conclusion, fulfilling the task response requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion
The conclusion logically wraps up the essay with a clear statement of opinion, reinforcing the points discussed in the body paragraphs.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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