Some people say young people should be completely free to choose their future job but others think young people must be more realistic in their choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some argue that young
people
ought to be totally free to make a decision about what they want to be in the future
, while
others think that young people
do not have experience enough to decide and they should take advice
from someone experienced about jobs. In this
essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion in the next paragraphs.
On one hand, asking older people
’s advice
can be more realistic and beneficial to understand the labour market and what is required from
them to do. Asking for Change preposition
of
advice
from experienced persons has advantages in choosing an accurate major that might provide a good job
in the future
. Knowing this
may help also
to know what qualifications you have to get and the job
requirements in your country that will help you build a successful career. To illustrate, some students after high school do not know what majors they have to choose, because they do not have enough information about job
requirements, thus
asking adults’ advice
is a good idea for their future
. From my perspective, young people
should have the freedom to choose what they like because they will be more creative and talented in the field they have chosen.
On the other hand
, young people
are responsible for deciding what they want and should be given the freedom to choose their career, because it gives them the power to study and try hard to achieve their goals. Motivation and perseverance are the secret of consistency and success which helps them to face challenges without feeling overwhelmed because they enjoy their work. For instance
, Thomson was not good at primary school, but he was very good at physics and with his mother’s encouragement, he had tried hard to discover electricity due to
his motivation and persistence. From my point of view, motivation and enthusiasm are crucial for anyone to succeed in life and that comes from achieving goals and doing whatever you want.
In conclusion, although
asking an adult’s advice
about how to choose a better career could help to guarantee a good life in the future
, l think that young people
should choose what their future
jobs are because it is important for their mental health far from depression and pressure,
because they will enjoy with their dream Remove the comma
apply
job
.Submitted by ghazl.1998g on
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Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure each paragraph progresses clearly from one point to the next, with smooth transitions. Consider using signposting language like 'Firstly,' 'Moreover,' and 'In contrast,' especially when introducing new ideas.
Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, make sure that each viewpoint is equally developed with balanced evidence or examples. Strengthen your arguments by providing more specific examples where necessary.
Task Achievement
The essay effectively discusses both viewpoints and provides a clear opinion in the introduction and conclusion, fulfilling the task response requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion
The conclusion logically wraps up the essay with a clear statement of opinion, reinforcing the points discussed in the body paragraphs.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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