Nowadays, many people spend less and less time at home. What are the *causes* of this? What are the *effects* of this on individuals and on the society?"

These days, it is common to see that more and more individuals are spending less
time
at
home
.
This
phenomenon may be explained by some reasons, and it obviously has several influences on each person
as well as
society as a whole. There are a bunch of causes why
people
nowadays do not spend much
time
at
home
.
To begin
with,
people
are so busy with their hectic schedules.
While
adults have to devote their
time
and effort to work harder for higher income or promotion opportunities, children who are students have so many classes at school and attend a lot of extra classes.
For example
, after 8 hours at the workplace, employees may need to meet their clients or participate in important conferences,
whereas
kids usually go to English centres or study with their tutors at night after school.
In addition
, when
people
have spare
time
, they are interested in hanging out and travelling with friends.
This
also
means they do not stay at
home
regularly. From my perspective,
this
tendency may have a lot of effects on individuals and society.
First,
in terms of each individual, it is prone to be harmful to spend less
time
staying at
home
as they may lose the connection with family members.
For instance
, parents and children may not share mealtime or watch TV together anymore, which are literally essential for a close-knit family, but frequently have lunch with colleagues or play with classmates.
However
,
this
trend may bring about some good impacts on our community
due to
the fact that individuals need to spend more money when they go out,
such
as to eat at a restaurant, buy a cup of coffee or stay at a hotel during their vacation. Apparently,
this
could help a country's economy thrive considerably. In conclusion, a lot of
people
are
giving
Verb problem
spending
show examples
less and less
time
at
home
.
This
is
due to
the fact that adults must work, children must study and their free
time
is usually spent hanging out.
Although
this
may be beneficial for the public, each person's relationship with their family may be adversely affected.
Submitted by thanhthao.081096 on

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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, further elaborate on the specific causes and effects mentioned by providing more in-depth examples or illustrations.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has clear and logical transitions between ideas, and consider using more linking words to guide the reader through the argument.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction is clear and sets the context for the discussion effectively, while the conclusion aptly summarizes the main points.
relevant specific examples
Examples provided in the essay are relevant and help illustrate the points made, such as discussing work and study obligations.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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