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Nowadays, most people are not as fit and active as they were in the past. What are the main causes of this situation? Suggest some possible solutions

#people #situation
The phenomenon of
people
 having more health
problems
 compared with the past
in
Change preposition
apply
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these days has aroused wide concern among various circles. In view of the situation, both government and individuals have a duty to find ways to overcome these
problems
. Regarding the cause of
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
show examples
 number of health
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
,
rapidly
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rapid
show examples
 technology development should be counted as
the
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apply
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one of the main reasons. To illustrate, modern technologies make the relationship between humans farther away than before.
For example
, nowadays
people
 can make a phone call to talk to anyone
Change preposition
at and
show examples
and
Correct your spelling
any
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 anytime, but in the past,
people
 have to face to face and talk. In
additiional
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addition
,
people
 can finish a lot of things by staying at home
though
Correct your spelling
through
show examples
 the internet
such
 as shipping and buying food.
Hence
,
people
 are
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 outdoor activities, which in turn their
body
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bodies
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 become more fragile. There
are
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is
show examples
 serval
action
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actions
show examples
 that could be taken to solve the
problems
 described above. Governments should encourage citizens to get more movement and enforce them to
do
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apply
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exercise regularly.
For instance
, governments can start
from
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with
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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education, and cooperate with the school in
orde
Correct your spelling
order
show examples
 to teach
people
 the importance of sports when they are young.
Moreover
, the general public should strick himself a
health
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healthy
show examples
 mobile phone using
pattern
Add an article
a pattern
the pattern
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. The monitoring of time
sepnt
Correct your spelling
spent
 on social media is a classic example
as
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of
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 a beginning to control their
phone using
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phone-using
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 behaviour. In
this
 way,
people
 should able to recover their bodies healthy. Under
this
 line of thinking,
although
 technology would bring us
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
converience
Correct your spelling
convenient
 life,
government
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the government
show examples
 and individuals should not
overlooked
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overlook
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 the accompanied disadvantages. Fortunately, there are many things that we can do to alleviate the
problems
.
Submitted by frankyimp on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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