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Band 6

In many countries, people are moving from rural areas to urban areas. What are the reasons for this? What problems can this cause?

#countries #people #areas
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In recent years the
moving
Correct quantifier usage
number of moving
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 from rural
areas
Use synonyms
 to urban
areas
Use synonyms
 has significantly increased. Nowadays, humans decide to move to urban
areas
Use synonyms
 because of its advantages.
This
Linking Words
 essay will describe some causes and problems of moving to the town. There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 try to live in the
city
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there is
much
Add an article
a much
the much
show examples
 better quality of education, especially at universities.
This
Linking Words
 means that all of the great universities are built in the
city
Use synonyms
 because it’s convenient both for its citizens (as
population
Add an article
the population
a population
show examples
 of urban
areas
Use synonyms
 more than in rural
areas
Use synonyms
) and foreigners to get to it and all of the
high
Replace the word
highly
show examples
 qualified teachers work in the town.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if
person
Add an article
a person
show examples
 studies at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 university in the
city
Use synonyms
, he will have more chances to get a decent job.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 have more job opportunities with sufficient pay.
For instance
Linking Words
, usually rural
areas
Use synonyms
 don’t have many facilities
such
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 as restaurants, banks, business companies and etc.
This
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 leads to unemployment or to lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
money received to provide for the family.
Finally
Linking Words
, cities have more variety of necessary goods and services.
For example
Linking Words
, it is common for us to buy different clothes or food and use a range of services which are spread in urban
areas
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it is easy and comfortable for us to get what we need. There are
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of problems which moving to the town can cause. First of all, the cost of living is higher than in rural
areas
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, housing is usually much more expensive so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it may lead to financial issues
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a person.
Next,
Linking Words
some
people
Use synonyms
 cannot find work because of harsh competition
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the job market so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they become unemployed.
Lastly
Linking Words
, overcrowding in the
city
Use synonyms
 may occur, leading to shortages in some products and services and increased traffic congestion which leads to
worsening
Correct article usage
a worsening
show examples
 economy and urbanization. In conclusion, all of these problems can concern all of us.
However
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 should live in
urban
Add an article
an urban
the urban
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 as
it
Add a verb
isit
wasit
show examples
 much more convenient than living in
rural
Add an article
a rural
the rural
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
.
Submitted by Alua on

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