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Band 5.5

Task 2: Parents give more freedom to their children nowadays than they do in the past. Is this a negative or positive development. Answer with reasons and personal experiences......

#parents #freedom #children #development #experiences
In the present year, families give more
freedom
 to their kids than in recent years. In my opinion, I strongly believe that in the modern world
children
 who have more
freedom
 will be successful more than unfree
children
.
This
 essay will highlight the benefit of student
freedom
.
Firstly
, now a day, the world is changing and technology is increasing. Students can search for many things and there can learn about many new cultures
such
 as in Asian countries like Thailand and China some
children
 have more individuals living than
last
 time.
In addition
, there have good emotions and attitudes because there can choose their job and plan their future life.
Secondly
, I feel that
children
 who have more dependence will be confident in themself more than
children
 who do independently.
Thus
, I think at the present,
parents
 must give dependence on their
children
. Another point of view, some families are serious about their
children
's life and future like jobs and school. There must plan for everything for their kids in china
parents
 should school for their kids. Anyway, I think
parents
 who worry about
there
Change the word
it
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 good but give
freedom
 are always better.
To sum up
, I totally
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that in the modern world with technology,
parents
 must give
childern
Correct your spelling
children
freedom
 and let them do everything they want.
Parents
 only introduce them in the right way. I always
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 who have more dependent will be confident people and there will be happy in life .
Submitted by itchayatop31 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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