Globalization is positive for economies, but its negative sides should not be ignored. To What extents do you agree or disagree?

There is no doubt that
globalization
has greatly enhanced people's quality of life.
However
, a growing number of opponents are arguing that It has many impacts which are significantly negative. I partially agree with
this
viewpoint and believe that
globalization
is a double-edged sword for the
economy
. There are many positive effects of a globalized market. First and foremost, It has introduced a variety of foreign commodities to the local stores. In
this
way, domestic manufacturers would have to create better products in order to compete.
For example
, Apple have been occupying a great share of the cell phone market in China over the
last
decade.
As a result
of vital competition, various Chinese tech companies have emerged. It is
also
worth highlighting that
globalization
has caused outsourcing which could lead to more job opportunities in underdeveloped nations.
Nevertheless
, there are valid reasons why people oppose the notion of a globalized
economy
. The major issue is that foreign commodities have made small business owners
hard
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to strive
due to
the price war.
For instance
, If a person is choosing where to go for a hamburger, his first choice would likely be Mc'Donald's because It tends to be more affordable than family-owned restaurants. Another relevant point is that corporations like Mc'Donald's or Apple would take too much part of an
economy
,
hence
creating a monopoly.
And monopoly
Correct word choice
Monopoly
show examples
could be detrimental to society as It could manipulate policies through political lobbying.
To conclude
, when discussing
globalization
, It is crucial to remind people of its positive and negative effects on the
economy
. Governments should
also
properly use
this
tool after considering their domestic circumstances.
Submitted by teaegg98 on

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task response
Ensure that positions are clearly stated in the introduction for a more effective structure.
coherence and cohesion
The overall essay is logically structured, but make sure to use more transition words for better coherence.
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