Many people try to create a balance between their professional life and their personal life. However, very few are able to achieve such a balance. What problems stop people from achieving a work-life balance? How can these problems be overcome?

The imbalance in daily life has worsened for the majority of the population,
while
only a few
people
manage to achieve a balanced life.
This
issue arises from the increasingly competitive nature of the rapidly developing economy.
However
,
this
problem can be addressed through specific remedies. The cutthroat market and rapid technological advancements have forced
people
into a race to avoid
layoffs
. In the early stage of the fifth industrial revolution,
people
were being replaced by automated machines based on the Internet of Things, leading to a reduced workforce and increased competition. Many factories have divided their manufacturing processes into multiple stages, predominantly using mechanical devices and robotic arms. These production chains have improved the quality of goods with fewer errors, increased the volume of finished products, and decreased the need for human labour.
Consequently
,
this
model has expanded significantly, allowing capitalists to gain surplus profits from reduced labour costs for the same volume of goods.
For example
, many white-collar workers have experienced massive
layoffs
because repetitive tasks can now be performed by specific artificial intelligence. To achieve a balanced work-life condition,
people
should prioritize personal time over working overtime, which requires government action to reduce the unemployment rate. Individuals would feel more secure if they did not worry about potential
layoffs
.
This
issue can be tackled through cooperation among governments, academic institutions, and multinational corporations.
Firstly
, the government should encourage universities to keep pace with technological advancements, helping students enrol in suitable majors to meet future job demands and avoid unemployment in fields affected by automation.
Secondly
, collaboration between academic institutions and companies can address the shortage of high-quality workers in certain areas and prevent
layoffs
by aligning education with technological needs.
For instance
, updating curricula and syllabi,
along with
partnering with potential employers, can prepare students for future job opportunities.
To conclude
,
layoffs
have created job pressures for many
people
and prevented them from achieving an ideal life.
However
,
this
issue can be alleviated through collaboration among government authorities, academic institutions, and corporations.
Submitted by lenam2k1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Your essay responds well to the task, addressing both the problems and solutions related to achieving work-life balance. However, make sure to clearly connect the issues discussed to the proposed solutions for an even more comprehensive response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Ensure that all main points are seamlessly connected for even greater coherence. Transition phrases can help in enhancing flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Main points are generally well supported; however, providing more varied examples might enrich your essay further. Consider adding more diverse perspectives or case studies to reinforce your arguments.
Task Response
Although your essay is quite good, aim for even greater clarity by being direct and concise in some sections. Removing any superfluous information can help maintain focus.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and contribute well to the essay. Still, make sure the conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points and reinforces the solutions proposed without introducing new ideas.
Task Response
The ideas presented are clear and comprehensive. Slight improvements in clarity and conciseness will enhance overall effectiveness.
Task Response
You provided a full response to the task, incorporating both problems and solutions, which is excellent.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of your essay helps to deliver points effectively. Your introduction sets the stage nicely and the conclusion wraps up the essay well.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay maintains cohesion throughout with effective paragraphing.
Task Response
You utilized relevant and specific examples, particularly when discussing automation and technological impacts on employment.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: