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Writing Samples
Band 5

In soem countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to slove them?

#soem #countries #weight #people #levels #health #fitness #measures #slove
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unfortunately nowadays in some
countries
Add a comma
,countries
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 the average weight of
people
Use synonyms
 is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 I will inform my opinion about the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them. it is common knowledge that at these times obesity is an enormous problem in
this
Linking Words
 world, every year it is increasing, and it can lead to many health problems. majority of
people
Use synonyms
 do not have time for cooking
that is
Linking Words
 one of the reasons why they have to eat fast food,
also
Linking Words
 it is cheap.
In
Linking Words
addition
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,addition
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 many
people
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 do not think about what will happen to them down the line, they only think about now, they just want to eat anything which is delicious which I find is dreadful,
Linking Words
Moreover
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,Moreover
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 after eating unhealthy food they do not desire to go to the gym,
therefore
Linking Words
 fitness is decreasing. there are many measures to solve that problem,
however
Linking Words
 now I want to talk about
realizing
Correct pronoun usage
itrealizing
show examples
. Personally as far as I am able to judge nothing or no one can make
people
Use synonyms
to
Change the verb form
apply
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change their minds if they do not realize the consequences and stop doing that. From my point of
view
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,view
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people
Use synonyms
 should understand that obesity can lead to many health problems and if they do not stop eating unhealthy food and start training, in the near future they will have diseases
due to
Linking Words
 obesity. in
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
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 as far as I am able to judge
people
Use synonyms
 should realize and take some measures to eat healthily and they should
training
Change the verb form
train
be training
show examples
.
Submitted by lilit_margaryan2006 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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