IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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These days, a
country
Use synonyms
 is considered to be developed and prosperous when it has many skyscrapers in its major cities.
However
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, many
people
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 suggest that we should invest greatly in healthcare and
education
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 infrastructure
instead
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 of building impressive
buildings
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.
This
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 indicates that the government has to consider carefully and develop both areas equally, whose reasons will be discussed below.
Besides
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 the beautiful natural scenery, modern
buildings
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 are
also
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 one of the concerns of tourists when coming to your
country
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.
For instance
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, Landmark or Bitexco in Ho Chi Minh City with unique architecture and luxury have made visitors want to explore.
In addition
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, iconic tall
buildings
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do
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apply
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not only impress
people
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 but
also
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 provide more accommodations for citizens when the population tends to increase in big cities.
Nevertheless
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, if we solely focus on developing
buildings
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while
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 neglecting other problems
such
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 as improving schools or hospitals in remote places, it will cause severe consequences for the
country
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 in the future. Even so,
buildings
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 have brought a lot of profit for the government so they can use it to solve those issues.
On the other hand
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, a majority of
people
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 claim that improving
education
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 and hospitals is more necessary than building skyscrapers.
For example
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, many successful entrepreneurs not only spend money on investments, but they
also
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 use it to help poor
people
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to
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apply
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improve their lives through actions like building more schools and hospitals. On the basic level, good medical treatment and proper
education
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 are the only things that
people
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 desire. When they have
education
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 and health, they will become a helpful person and future owners of the
country
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, helping the
country
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 thrive. In conclusion, the construction of modern
buildings
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 is an important thing but the improvement of
education
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 and health is equally important.
Therefore
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, the government should consider developing the
country
Use synonyms
 in a positive direction by dividing funds fairly.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the logical structure of the essay is maintained throughout. To do this, make sure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, supporting sentences, and a concluding sentence.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented. Keep this up in your future essays.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas and concepts more precisely. Try to incorporate more academic and formal vocabulary to strengthen the lexical resource.
grammatical range
Continue using complex sentence structures and varied grammar to showcase your language proficiency. Also, pay attention to accurate verb tense usage and subject-verb agreement.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Architectural grandeur
  • Iconic edifices
  • Economic catalyst
  • Cultural landmark
  • Urban fabric
  • Sustainable development
  • Public services
  • Fiscal responsibility
  • Community well-being
  • Infrastructure investment
  • Urban planning
  • Holistic approach
  • Government stewardship
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