some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation,such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money.Other argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give opinions

Many peoples agree to adopt theme-self of bad situations
one
example of
this
is a shortage of money and unsatisfactory Jobs meanwhile, another group of the community argue that it is better to try to improve
Such
conditions.I am going explore both of these views and going to discuss both of these viewpoints. on the
one
hand,
firstly
families
one
-way depends on
this
one
site income, what is more, some people have only
one
income site they are not familiar with other occupation and sometime its become really sophisticated to think out of another way,
thus
they don't want to take any risk.
Secondly
, they have a gap in leadership Support. There are lots of folks who don't have any good leaders and for that , the reason they get easily demotivated
cause
Correct your spelling
because
show examples
in that particular situation people need a mentor to illustrate a blind man who has a fear
to cross
Change preposition
of crossing
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the road if a humble person helps him to cross the road it will boots up his motivation. on the other way to consider, many people wanted to recover from their awful circumstances
furthermore
, a wide range of the population badly wanted to change their lives and
also
their family
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, in that they have the desire to change their job if they Work under an institution, in that case, they give their best shot to get a job which is their desire. Another case is, the
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
wanted
Wrong verb form
want
show examples
to carry on their higher education if they are from a poverty-stricken tribe it becomes hard to keep
on
Change preposition
apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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up,
Additionally
, many students seek scholarships.
To sum up
, both have their own views.I strongly agree folk should give their best shoot to improve their circumstances.
Submitted by hinmah192511 on

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task response
Improve task response by clearly presenting both views and discussing them in detail, providing balanced arguments and a clear opinion at the end.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance coherence and cohesion by structuring the essay with clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs more effectively.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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