At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

In recent years, youth are considered
as
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apply
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the main power that relied on the economies of many lands, and they acquire
on
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apply
show examples
the largest percentage for a number of individuals contrasting elderly people. I am of the belief that youth and mature people play a vital role to promote and upgrade
sociaties
Correct your spelling
societies
. To embark on, individuals who are from 20 to 35 ages are the power motors to developing countries. In t other words, if governments are concerned with a high quality of education and positive
riasing
Correct your spelling
raising
for their generations, it will increase
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
among youth and realise their purposes early and
acheive alot
Correct your spelling
achieve a lot
of success for their
regoin
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region
. For
instans
Correct your spelling
instance
,
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the
show examples
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
of China
depend
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depends
show examples
on
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the
show examples
population and
high
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a high
the high
show examples
number of workers
of
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in
show examples
china,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the majority of them from adults.
Hence
, not only can mature ones develop their areas, but
also
they
mantain
Correct your spelling
maintain
their culture and promote it.
In addition
, exploring the brain of students is crucial to utilize it in
innovention
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innovation
invention
and creativity. To illustrate, when
athourities
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authorities
concedrate
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concentrate
on
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
show examples
thinking
Correct article usage
the thinking
show examples
and doings of students
for
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to
show examples
serve their society, they will
educated
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be educated
educate
show examples
as well and use their skills to
creat
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create
show examples
or discover new
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
that are beneficial for their culture and
their
Change the word
the
show examples
environment where they live in it
as well as
for all human-being.
For example
, a recent
servey
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survey
conduct
Wrong verb form
conducted
show examples
by scientists that are specialists in
this
field,
they
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apply
show examples
reavaled
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revealed
that some
west
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Western
show examples
countries
such
as the UK, Span and German are keen on focusing on
adolesents
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adolescents
in their education and upbringing as they
considere
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consider
considered
them their future and
the
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apply
show examples
fundmental
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fundamental
unit to constant and develop their
civilaisations
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civilisations
civilizations
civilisation
. Eventually, what can be said
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
encouraging youngsters on learning and research is
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
important way to make members of societies more urbanized and intellectual. In conclusion,
after
this
essay has manifested these
pionts
Correct your spelling
points
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
mentioned above, it can
revealed
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be revealed
reveal
show examples
that
although
senior
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
have more experience than
youngs
Correct your spelling
young
show examples
, teenagers have a fresh memory and
more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
active to discover
this
life.
Submitted by muhammed1521995 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
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