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Band 6.5

The increase in people's life expectancy means that they have to work fill older age to pay for their retirement. One alternative is that people start to work at a younger age. Is this alternative a positive or a negative development?

#people #life #expectancy #work #age #retirement #alternative #development
It has been argued by many individuals that
due to
 a longer life span, senior
people
 do
work
 till their retirement
age
 and some humans consider joining the workforce young
age
 as a better solution. In my opinion, it is a welcome development.
This
 essay shall shed light upon my perspective in subsequent paragraphs
along with
 a reasoned conclusion.
Firstly
, the prominent cause behind my positive point is that
people
 might acquire money management skills. When human beings start a job
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 an early
age
, they would not only know about the value of money but
also
 spend their capital on necessary products rather than reckless things.
For instance
, a survey conducted by Harward University revealed that in America young
people
 were doing
work
 and learning different types of knowledge on how to manage monthly income.
Hence
, it puts favourable effects on teenager's development
Secondly
,
people
 can save more cash and
thus
 have financial security in the later stages of life.
People
 may survive in their
further
 life from upcoming outcomes which are related to the economy if they take part in any company for the job in their teenage with the assistance of
this
 commoners have no worries about the future time and manage easily all things that regarding domestic
work
 as they have more money because population have done
work
 before older
age
.
To conclude
,
although
 it is required to do
work
 for the elderly
age
 to pay for their retirement, it is better once the public does the job at a young
age
. First of all, they save
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
 for their upcoming time and
also
 learn skills which make them mature and independent.
Submitted by deepikanayyar1996 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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