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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many students find it difficult to focus or pay attention at school nowadays. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

#students #focus #attention #school
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It has been argued by many individuals that in
this
 contemporary era, it is more complicated to emphasise their education.
This
 essay shall not only elucidate the causes of
this
 statement but
also
 scrutinize how it can be curbed in subsequent paragraphs
along with
 a reasoned conclusion.
To begin
 with, the fundamental ground of
this
 nation is that
people
 want to spend
time
 on technological gadgets. In
this
 day and age, digitalization is proliferating regularly so, the majority of human beings waste their
time
 on mobile phones as compared to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
studying as they tend to enjoy
all
Correct pronoun usage
it all
show examples
 the
time
.
Thus
, they do not concentrate properly on the academic field.
For instance
, a survey conducted by Harward University revealed that in (2021) 65% of students all over the world lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
knowledge regarding their studies and they faced major problems related to getting a job as they do not have a degree in any domain.
Hence
, it puts an adverse impact on society and
people
. To curb
this
, the mitigating factor is that parents need to make a timetable for their young ones. If offsprings have
schedule
Add an article
a schedule
show examples
 of
daily
Add an article
the daily
show examples
 routine when they do study and
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
 games, they might more focus on education because they would know once they do complete their tasks at school
then
 they may give
time
 to indoor activities or outdoor.
For example
, it is published article by The Tribune newspaper showed that approximately 70% of learners are getting good scores in their classes because family members give them
time
 to play games with the study.
To conclude
,
although
 the main reason
people
 do not pay attention to their education as they expend their most of life on smartphones, it can be measured if senior
people
 in their families could give
time
 to all work as it is a better solution.
Submitted by deepikanayyar1996 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • distractions
  • focus
  • pay attention
  • lack of interest
  • motivation
  • fatigue
  • sleep
  • classroom environment
  • teaching methods
  • technology addiction
  • social media
  • peer pressure
  • workload
  • support
  • active learning strategies
  • engaging
  • student-centered teaching
  • realistic goals
  • rewards
  • balanced lifestyle
  • screen time
  • breaks
  • physical activity
  • support and guidance
What to do next:
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