IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

With increasing populations and ever growing urban centres, many countries their natural beauty spots. What benefits are there to protecting places of natural beauty? How can this be solved?

#populations #centres #countries #beauty #spots #places #be
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Nowadays, humanity has to face overpopulation and urbanisation of rural areas, which lead to the vanishing of natural
beauty
Use synonyms
 spots, because when choosing between some fast income and the heritage of
nature
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, construction companies always choose money. The loss of natural attractions is considered a tremendous issue,
nevertheless
Linking Words
, some steps can be taken to fix
this
Linking Words
 problem.
Firstly
Linking Words
, a lot of tourists choose their destinations for their next journeys depending on the variety of natural attractions,
thus
Linking Words
 the country with untouched
nature
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 has better chances to get more travellers which eventually can help in developing its economy.
For example
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, in Russia , Lake Baikal is a unique highly protected natural
beauty
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 spot and thousands of tourists visit
this
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 place every year bringing a substantial sum of money to the region’s budget.
Secondly
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, the
beauty
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 of
nature
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 should be kept for being left as a legacy to the next generation of citizens to make them proud of their homeland. Undoubtedly, people have a sense of One way to tackle
this
Linking Words
 issue is that
Correct article usage
the
show examples
government should create special restrictions for construction companies to protect the natural spots of
beauty
Use synonyms
 from being destroyed for the sake of real estate development.
This
Linking Words
 law must be strict enough and the penalty must be huge and inevitable,
hence
Linking Words
 it can stop dishonest developers and preserve
nature
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. Another way to cope with
this
Linking Words
 issue is the creation of national parks in places of natural
beauty
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. Usually, the visiting of national parks is popular among
nature
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 lovers, so
due to
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 its popularity, the national park cannot be built up secretly without attracting the attention of society.
To sum up
Linking Words
, it is evident that there are some benefits of protecting laces of
natuaral
Correct your spelling
natural
beauty
Use synonyms
, and these places should be protected by law and
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should create more national parks to ensure they are preserved.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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task response
Be cautious with the usage of complex sentences to ensure clarity. While complex structures showcase language proficiency, they must not compromise the essay's readability.
task response
Pay closer attention to spelling and punctuation. Typographical errors like 'laces of natuaral beauty' disrupt the flow and can slightly detract from the essay's overall quality.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear progression of ideas through the usage of linking words and appropriate paragraph structuring. While the essay demonstrates a good degree of coherence, further refinement in transitions could enhance its readability.
coherence cohesion
Consider a more varied use of cohesive devices to link ideas within and across paragraphs more smoothly. Good use has been made, but experimenting with a wider range can demonstrate greater command of the language.
coherence cohesion
Endeavor to introduce and conclude your essay more decisively. The introduction and conclusion are present and perform their roles, but sharper statements could provide a stronger framing for the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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