IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?

#humans #environment #governments #address #people
These days, people are damaging the environment in many ways.
Therefore
, the ministry should undertake
this
 issue,
however
,
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 should
also
 do something on its own. In subsequent paragraphs,
this
 essay shall discuss environmental problems,
what
Correct word choice
and how
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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politics can address these issues.
To begin
 with, humanity is responsible for a variety of problems in nature. One of them is
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
global warming
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because global warming is a worldwide issue that causes other problems.
For instance
, carbon dioxide, which has been produced by factories, unites
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the atmosphere. After that,
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 temperature of the Earth will rise.
As a result
, icebergs will melt and all continents are going to stay under the water. Another way of
damaging
Replace the word
damage
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 is deforestation,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 leads to
erosion
Correct article usage
the erosion
show examples
 of forests. Society has not understood yet that forests are the main part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature, so we must not cut down them.
Trees
 photosynthesize the sunlight and produce oxygen, so we need forests. The political authority should solve these troubles. The government could reduce global warming and stop cutting down
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
trees
. The ministry could introduce laws to limit the emission of gases and put filters on the pipes of factories.
Additionally
, space explorations have to be stopped, because the ozone layers need to recover.
For example
, the hole
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Florida has been restored after
decade
Correct article usage
a decade
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. But, the authority cannot cope with
on
Correct pronoun usage
it on
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 its own,
therefore
, individuals have to help
to
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apply
show examples
the environment. There are several ways
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 people can
use
Correct pronoun usage
ituse
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. One of them is
a
Correct article usage
apply
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planting
trees
Change the noun form
tree
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 helps to reduce gas emissions and deforestation. To illustrate, everyone in China has planted 3
trees
 and they could reduce the encroaching desert from the north. In conclusion,
this
 essay argues that we damaged the Earth and we should correct it. In
this
 way, all people have to work as a team.
Submitted by Deadline 8th April IELTS on

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