IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think the government should strickly control the supply of fresh water as it is a limited resourse, while others it should not be regulated. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #government #control #water #resourse
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Some people argue that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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fresh
water
Use synonyms
 should be managed and distributed by the
government
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 because
this
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 is a limited resource.
While
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 others believe that the
government
Use synonyms
 should not dominate the supply of fresh
water
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both arguments. On the one hand, the
government
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 managing fresh
water
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 supply will benefit
to
Change preposition
apply
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communities. Controlling
fresh
Correct article usage
the fresh
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 supply by the
government
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 will ensure fair distribution between citizens.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
government
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 can supervise the
price
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 to make sure the citizens are not overcharged by
water
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 suppliers.
Water
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 is the fundamental demand of people which should be managed by the
government
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 to make sure citizens have enough fresh
water
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 to use at an affordable
price
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.
On the other hand
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, controlling the fresh
water
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 supply by personal businesses has several merits and drawbacks. Given the fact that if the
government
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 allows personal businesses to supply fresh
water
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, they can invest in technology and keep the
price
Use synonyms
 more competitive, which is beneficial to communities.
However
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,
water
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 supply security might be not secured if personal businesses lack capital and go bankrupt. In my opinion, in order to sustain the
water
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 supply security and keep fresh
water
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 at an affordable
price
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 to communities, the
government
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 should take responsibility for supervising and managing the
fresh
Correct your spelling
freshwater
show examples
water
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 supply.
Furthermore
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, the
government
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also
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 should control the safety of
water
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 quality and there is no
wastefulness
Replace the word
waste
show examples
 in using
water
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. In conclusion, the
government
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 should play a crucial role in regulating the supply of fresh
water
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 to ensure fair access and sustainable management of
this
Linking Words
 precious resource. By doing so, we can safeguard the environment and secure the availability of fresh
water
Use synonyms
 for future generations.
Submitted by kieuanhnt.vnu on

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task achievement
Add more specific examples or evidence to support each viewpoint discussed.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are fully developed and clearly expressed throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking words and phrases to make the essay flow more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction that outlines the topic and states that both views will be discussed.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a clear opinion.
coherence cohesion
The argument for governmental control of water supply is clearly structured and easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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