IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of put behind the bars To what extend do you agree?

#people #prisoners #community #work #bars
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A group of people strongly believe that selective offenders should be engaged in unpaid
community
Use synonyms
 service
instead
Linking Words
 of being captive in jail. I firmly agree with
this
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 idea because being active in social
Use synonyms
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
will help
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
criminals
Use synonyms
 to adjust
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
afterward
Change the spelling
afterwards
show examples
 of
punishment
Correct article usage
the punishment
show examples
 period.
Also
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, it will bring economic benefits
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the government.
Firstly
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, most
criminals
Use synonyms
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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teenagers feel
ditached
Correct your spelling
detached
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society when they return from prison. If minor offenders can be involved in
community
Use synonyms
 work, it will help them to feel the
intigral
Correct your spelling
integral
 part of the
socity
Correct your spelling
society
.
Also
Linking Words
, general people are prone to avoid
criminals
Use synonyms
. Considering
this
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 , if
criminals
Use synonyms
 can perform some volunteer
works
Use synonyms
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, it will bring some positive change
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
community
Use synonyms
peoples’
Change noun form
people’s
show examples
 perspective
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
criminals
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, India has recently released a rule for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
minors
criminals
Use synonyms
 to take part in different social activities and it has significantly impacted
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 social communication between
criminals
Use synonyms
 and the general people.
Secondly
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,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 has to pay a large amount of money for different
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
community
Use synonyms
works
Use synonyms
. If
criminals
Use synonyms
 can be involved in those activities without pay, a huge amount of money can be saved.
Moreover
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,
this
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 fund can be utilized
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
other purpose
Change the wording
another purpose
other purposes
show examples
, or it can be stored as
reseve
Correct your spelling
reserve
receive
 money for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future need. For an instance, Sweden engaged all of their minor
criminals
Use synonyms
 in a road construction
last
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 year, which helped to save 1 million dollars.
To sum up
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, particular offenders ought to be involved in different social
works
Use synonyms
, which will undoubtedly bring some profoundly constructive impacts on both
socity
Correct your spelling
society
 and the
criminals
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by mymuna.akter90 on

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