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Band 6.5

Today more and more people want things instantly (e.g.: goods, service, news). Why is this? is it positive or negative development?

#people #e #g #goods #service #news #development
In the modern society, increasing number of people are preferring speedy action and reactions.
Although
 the introduction of new technology has accelerated our way of
life
, in my opinion, it is mostly creating a vicious circle of crimes and chronic illnesses. In the essay, I will go into great depth to explain to concept. The unprecedented advancement of communication and automation technology has made people’
life
 faster and more comfortable than ever before. Regardless the distance in between, they can set up real-time audio- visual contact, enjoy and participate online live event and get constant update of different activities around the world. Automation which has made people’s daily
life
such
 enjoyable that was once even beyond of imagination.
For example
, washing machine, electronic cookware, refrigerator, air conditioning system, home theatre, and entry-exit system for vehicles or buildings etc. all are functioning with just a push of one button, or with a finger touch or simply with a voice code.
However
,
this
 revolutionary development is
also
 blamed for easing dreadful cyber-crimes and promoting a disease prone sedentary
lifestyle
. Through digital platform
life
 internet or mobile phone, cyber criminals are attacking people by sending hurtful text messages, using unauthorized photos or videos, and spreading rumors via social media. A 15 year-long trend line study suggest that
due to
 excessive dependency on automation, many people are becoming physically inactive, which is doubling the risk of obesity, diabetes, cardiovascular diseases, depression and so on.
This
 is how the fast and automatic
lifestyle
 has brought an incredible pace at the cost of health and safety. In conclusion, though the fast-paced
lifestyle
 has gifted out daily
life
 a rhythm of speed and comfort, it is
also
 sedentary
lifestyle
.
Therefore
, all thing consider, I am still of the opinion that
this
 quick responsive
lifestyle
 is
overall
 a negative development.

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task achievement
Make sure to fully explore both the positive and negative aspects of the topic.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or studies to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs for better coherence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that new ideas are introduced in new paragraphs for clarity.
coherence cohesion
Strong introduction and conclusion that clearly state your position.
coherence cohesion
Main points are clear and generally well-supported.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic comprehensively and presents clear ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant gratification
  • digital platforms
  • fast-paced lifestyle
  • precious commodity
  • e-commerce platforms
  • 24/7 news cycles
  • accessibility
  • consumer behavior
  • efficiency
  • productivity
  • delayed gratification
  • pressure
  • advent
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