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Band 6

some people believe that unpaid community services should be a compulsory part of High School programs( for example working for charity improving the neighborhood for teaching sports to younger children) To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #community #services #part #school #programs #charity #neighborhood #sports #children
Many
people
 think that extracurricular activities
such
 as voluntary work and other kinds of employment for charity should be involved at
school
, especially in High
School
,
although
 others tend to not agree with it. In my point of view,
such
 activities as
this
 should be at
school
 and I will write several arguments to prove my opinion. First of all, voluntary work helps students to recognise the value of kindness and empathise with other
people
. It means that cooperation with
people
 develops the ethical features of teenagers so that they will learn how to be a part of society and know moral principles.
For example
, In Japan since
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Middle
School
Add a comma
,School
show examples
 all students get involved to clean in the classroom and they figure out the importance of discipline and respect
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 occupation of all
people
 because they understand how it will be hard.
On the other hand
,
people
 who
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
doing community
services
Fix the agreement mistake
service
show examples
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
school
 years could be more
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
 in their future life.
In other words
, adolescents had already been taught by older
people
 when they had been in voluntary service and they listened to different stories and advice which might be useful.
Then
, individuals will use it and learn to be more hard-working and patient.
For instance
, in Kazakhstan old
people
 love to give advice from their personal experience which they had recognised during their whole life and it helps to young generation to avoid mistakes and to be good members of the community. In conclusion, I think there are only many benefits from extracurricular voluntary employment
such
 as understanding loyalty, kindness and being social which can be useful in the future for adolescents.
Submitted by zbirliknur01 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fosters
  • compassion
  • empathy
  • civic engagement
  • practical skills
  • real-world experiences
  • invaluable
  • burden
  • impinging
  • logistical challenges
  • suitable placements
  • quality assurance
  • promote engagement
  • enthusiasm
  • meaningful
  • impactful
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