some people believe that unpaid community services should be a compulsory part of High School programs( for example working for charity improving the neighborhood for teaching sports to younger children) To what extent do you agree or disagree

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Many
people
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think that extracurricular activities
such
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as voluntary work and other kinds of employment for charity should be involved at
school
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, especially in High
School
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,
although
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others tend to not agree with it. In my point of view,
such
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activities as
this
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should be at
school
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and I will write several arguments to prove my opinion. First of all, voluntary work helps students to recognise the value of kindness and empathise with other
people
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. It means that cooperation with
people
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develops the ethical features of teenagers so that they will learn how to be a part of society and know moral principles.
For example
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, In Japan since
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Middle
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School
Add a comma
,School
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all students get involved to clean in the classroom and they figure out the importance of discipline and respect
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
occupation of all
people
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because they understand how it will be hard.
On the other hand
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,
people
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who
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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doing community
services
Fix the agreement mistake
service
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in
Change preposition
during
show examples
school
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years could be more
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
in their future life.
In other words
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, adolescents had already been taught by older
people
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when they had been in voluntary service and they listened to different stories and advice which might be useful.
Then
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, individuals will use it and learn to be more hard-working and patient.
For instance
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, in Kazakhstan old
people
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love to give advice from their personal experience which they had recognised during their whole life and it helps to young generation to avoid mistakes and to be good members of the community. In conclusion, I think there are only many benefits from extracurricular voluntary employment
such
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as understanding loyalty, kindness and being social which can be useful in the future for adolescents.
Submitted by zbirliknur01 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fosters
  • compassion
  • empathy
  • civic engagement
  • practical skills
  • real-world experiences
  • invaluable
  • burden
  • impinging
  • logistical challenges
  • suitable placements
  • quality assurance
  • promote engagement
  • enthusiasm
  • meaningful
  • impactful
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