Young people committing crimes should be treated the same as adults by the authorities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #crimes #adults #authorities

People argue that

children

who

committing

Wrong verb form

commit

show examples

crimes

should be punished as adults by the

government

. I

am partly agree

Change the verb form

partly agree

show examples

with

this

idea of statement. On the one hand, punishing

children

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

adults

Correct the article-noun agreement

adult

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is bad for them. Strict

punishment

can play

negative

Correct article usage

a negative

show examples

effect

Change preposition

show examples

their life.

However

Add a comma

,However

show examples

by the statistics which is given by

magazine

Correct article usage

a magazine

show examples

called "

Times

Add a comma

,Times

show examples

" people can know that by the

stricts

Correct your spelling

strict

strictest

punishment

Add a comma

,punishment

show examples

13% of

children

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

serious issues with their health.

For example

, by taking strict

punishment

children

can have mental problems and even they can

stopping

Wrong verb form

stop

show examples

to speak.

On the other hand

treat

Wrong verb form

treating

show examples

children

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

adults

Change the noun form

adult

show examples

is good for the

government

. If the

government

did not react

for

Change preposition

show examples

the

children

who commit

crimes

the rates of crime will be increasing.

However

from the Tv

programm

Correct your spelling

programme

called "Recent News" people can know that rare

Change preposition

apply

show examples

crimes

increased in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Israeli because they are stopped to punish

children

if they

are commit

Change the verb form

are committing

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

crimes

For instance

, if

children

did not

faced

Change the verb form

face

show examples

with

punishment

Add an article

the punishment

show examples

they consider that it is

best

Change the article

the best

show examples

way to earn money.

However

Add a comma

,However

show examples

in the

future

Add a comma

,future

show examples

they can create

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

teams

consist

Wrong verb form

consisting

show examples

from

Change preposition

show examples

children

who commit

crimes

. Taking everything into consideration, I consider that

government

should build special schools for parenting them.

Submitted by ina1_95 on Fri Mar 03 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

207 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Young people committing crimes should be treated the same as adults by the authorities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

Too much money is spent in maintaining and repairing old buildings. Some people think that they should be knocked down and give way to the modern buildings. To what extent do you agree or disagree

The increase in the elderly population makes it difficult for taxpayers. What should be the solution?

Some people think that the best way to solve the problem of poverty in many countries is to set up businesses and improve trade links with rich countries.