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Band 8.5

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#cultures #children #message
Motivating children by telling them that everything can be obtained with dedication is a common belief in some parts of the world. Sending
such
 a notion to youngsters is somehow beneficial to them ;yet
also
 brings about many drawbacks in later life. On the one hand, advising children to try hard helps them set goals for their future plans. When they believe it is possible to reach any destination as long as they really have a strong will, they are confident and motivated;
as a consequence
, possess positive energy from the start. Another merit is that they will become hard-working and well-organized people when growing up. Once a child has a habit of setting aims for whatever he is doing, he will become a determined and persistent person.
For example
, at my school, many students are cramming for their exams in the belief that they will pass the tests as long as they practice enough.
Therefore
, in some areas, parents always encourage their offspring to work hard so as to become successful in life.
On the other hand
,
this
 action can do a lot of harm to young minds as well. The first downside is putting too much pressure on adolescents may result in more failure than success. If a person puts full effort into doing a task but
then
 fails, he will be discouraged and lose faith in himself.
Additionally
, an over-ambitious person tends to have suicidal actions when facing challenges. They are used to being at the top and cannot stand being defeated.
For instance
, in Japan, there is a higher trend of young employees getting suicide because of the stress from work.
Overall
, demanding a child to try his best at anything is not an ideal educational method.
To conclude
, despite the fact that achieving the best performance in every life aspect is advantageous in some ways;
nevertheless
, it comes
together with
 negative consequences.
Submitted by mintu258 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
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