Social Media has helped us increase our virtual networks . this has isolated us physically making us social awkward in person. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give you opinion.

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Skyrocketing

Correct article usage

The skyrocketing

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advancement of information technology brought the globe into our hands. Advanced social networking systems significantly raised the virtual interconnection among people. Nowadays, not only youngsters but

also

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old adults and elders are using social networks to connect with their peers, friends and relatives.

However

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this

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digital earth made us socially inactive. I will discuss the community distance caused by digital media in the following paragraphs with some examples. At the outset, Before

this

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digital era public used to meet up with each other on a regular basis. Family members sat together to have at least one meal per day. During lunch hours in workplaces, employees had their meals

together with

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a healthy chat.

But unfortunately

Correct word choice

Unfortunately

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, after the introduction of social media

such

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as Facebook, Twitter, TikTok,

Correct your spelling

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and Viber, the public spends their most valuable time in the virtual nature. People are reluctant to talk to their neighbours, workmates, classmates or even

Change preposition

apply

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family members.

This

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behaviour isolates individuals from society.

Moreover

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, social media users post almost all good activities on public platforms

while

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completely hiding their negative faces. They are counting the likes and shares,

while

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entirely forgetting real life.

For example

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, some followers have thousands of friends on their Facebook accounts, but when they fall ill, they do not have anyone to take care of them, rather their Facebook comments will fill with prayers. In summary, every individual should actively interact with real society and social networking should be utilised in a useful manner with limitations.

Otherwise

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, if somebody sinks into the virtual world without caring about the physical community he or she will become socially awkward.

Submitted by nusairmsm on Sat Mar 04 2023

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9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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Social Media has helped us increase our virtual networks . this has isolated us physically making us social awkward in person. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give you opinion.

Today our communications, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some countries, it is becoming increasingly common for people to follow a vegetarian diet. Do the advantages of ths outweigh the disadvantages ?

In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Some people think that all lawbreakers should be taken into prison. In contrast, others believe there are better alternatives (for example, doing work or learning skills in the community). Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in team sports, like football. While other people think that taking part in individual sports is better, like swimming. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.