Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities.Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #measures

Nowadays, the human health of every country is in danger, each nation should make some regulation to improve their society. Some

beleive

Correct your spelling

believe

that, increasing

sports

facilities will help to improve public health. Others say that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

this

would contribute only a small part, so they think, more

measurement

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measurements

show examples

are required. In my opinion,

community

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the community

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will need more potential to

impro

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improve

show examples

their life.

To begin

with, rising

sports

activities

gives

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give

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more merits to the

people

Further

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Further,

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it is used to surge the rate of

heart beat

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heartbeat

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and make everyone

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apply

show examples

life

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live

show examples

longer in the world.

In addition

sports

utilities should be available for all

kind

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kinds

show examples

people

. Even from

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

and

every one

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everyone

show examples

could

acces

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access

it, which makes stronger our future generation.

For instance

, in Coimbatore, there are some free gymnastic accessories, which

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

located in

race

Correct article usage

a race

show examples

course, Here, kids play with their family and spend some quality time,

meanwhile

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meanwhile,

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they utilize

this

space to upgrade their fitness.

On the other hand

government

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the government

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should create some more laws to update

lifsepam

Correct your spelling

lifespan

by reducing

miscelaneous

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miscellaneous

pollutions

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pollution

show examples

Firstly

they want to decrease air pollution, which is the most harmful one

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show examples

respiration problems.

Secondly

, they should take

actions

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action

show examples

against water pollution like

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apply

show examples

merging

waste water

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wastewater

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into rivers.

Lastly

, check restaurants and street food stalls, whether it is safe and good for

people

. For illustrate, my home town named

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apply

show examples

namakkal

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Namakkal

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met

Verb problem

had

show examples

an incident

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apply

show examples

last

year,

which

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in which

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was

Unnecessary verb

apply

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a girl died

due to

eating a fast food dish called

zwarma

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swarm

warm

in a restaurant. In conclusion,

people

should

also

take care of their own health.

However

, I

beleive

Correct your spelling

believe

that,

Correct article usage

the commitee

show examples

commitee

Correct your spelling

committee

should

also

do more work

Change preposition

show examples

various fields rather than

sports

to make our region better.

Submitted by insighttribez on Fri Dec 15 2023

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task achievement

Ensure the introduction clearly presents both views and states a clear opinion or thesis to guide the reader.

coherence cohesion

Work on structuring the essay with clear paragraphs, each with a single main idea, and use cohesive devices appropriately.

task achievement

Maintain focus on the task throughout the essay and directly address the prompt in each paragraph.

coherence cohesion

Develop arguments with clear reasons, evidence, and examples supporting the main points.

coherence cohesion

Pay close attention to spelling, grammar, and punctuation to maintain academic writing standards.

task achievement

Use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures to demonstrate language proficiency.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that the conclusion summarizes the main points of the essay and restates the writer's position.

task achievement

Provide concrete examples and specific details to back up statements, rather than general or vague references.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
sports facilities
physical activity
exercise
chronic diseases
heart disease
obesity
inclusivity
participation
safe environment
social interaction
community engagement
comprehensive approach
health education programs
environmental factors
healthcare infrastructure
quality healthcare services
public health initiatives

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities.Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries, too much money was spent by government and individuals on national celebration such as New Year and religious festivals. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can the G do to address the problem? What can individuals do?

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years.Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend?

More and more people no longer read newspaper or watch TV programs to get news . They get news about the world through the internet. Is this a positive or negative development ?

Every year an increasing number of students choose to go to another country for their higher education. Do you think the benefits of this development outweigh the problems associated with it?