A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children’s sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter, •describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team •summarize the benefits of paying for the concerts •say how you think the company should spend the money

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
in regard to giving my feedback about the notice posted in Time of India dated 28th January. Your idea about sponsoring the children's sports team for two years is fantastic. It will
also
help some poor kids to participate.
Additionally
, other kids will understand the benefits of outdoor games which will inspire them to join the same.
However
, concerts
also
have their own benefits. Our area mostly consists of the slum who never got a chance to visit concerts as they are costly for them. They will get to enjoy the show and make them happy for the moment. All age groups can enjoy the show, especially youngsters.
According to
me, both things are equally important for people.
In addition
to that, If you spend the budget on sponsoring one thing
then
all the age groups will not be benefited and
hence
, I am requesting to revise and you may sponsor the children's sports team for one year and pay for only one concert. I hope you will consider my suggestion. Yours faithfully, Kishan
Submitted by kishanpatel2550 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: