IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people say that watching TV programs and movies related to crime are popular. What do you think it's popular and how does it affect to society?

#people #tv #programs #movies #crime #society
In our contemporary society, people are more likely to watch films that are related to crime. In the forthcoming paragraphs,
this
 essay will delve into the underlying reasons for
this
 penchant and its profound impacts on individuals and societies as a whole and provide a reasonable conclusion. One of the predominant causes of
this
 interest was the complexity of the program and its demands for a greater understanding of the world around us. To exemplify, some people have a notion that it may seem fascinating to them to unravel some puzzles or mysteries within the movie.
Furthermore
, from a different standpoint, others can be fed by chaos and violence in certain episodes if they consider it as a source of joy and fulfilment. The possible effects of
this
 predisposition are manifold and alarming.
Initially
, when these kinds of movies are watched by adolescents, they can evoke a sense of horror, placing humans at a heightened risk of harm and even mortality.
Conversely
, there is no doubt that its upsides cannot be ignored
due to
 the fact that TV programs and movies that contain some crime and legislative events can improve critical thinking and decision-making skills under a high level of pressure. In conclusion,
after
this
 essay has manifested all the aspects of the phenomenon, the acute consequences of watching crime films extend beyond individuals to broader society. It is evident that communities should take into account both the benefits and drawbacks of
this
 propensity. Addressing
this
 issue requires comprehensive efforts, mitigating the potential risks of the dire ramifications
while
 harnessing its boons.
Submitted by writingbhos on

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task achievement
Try to incorporate more real-world examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence & cohesion
Maintaining a clear logical flow between paragraphs would enhance your coherence. Consider using more linking words and phrases.
coherence & cohesion
You've done an excellent job of introducing and concluding the topic which helps in understanding the structure of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay provides a balanced view on the topic, acknowledging both the positive and negative aspects of the phenomenon.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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