These days, a great number of children prefer spending time on computer games rather than on sports. Why is it? Is it a positive or negative development?

Nowadays , certain numbers of youngsters are spending more time
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
playing
games
on
computer
Add an article
the computer
show examples
in comparison to doing sport. There is plenty number of causes for
this
,
however
Add a comma
,however
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I believe
this
is definitely a negative trend. In general , today’s children prefer playing
games
with devices like laptops or personal computers,
whereas
people from previous decades decided to spend time on
Add an article
the sport
show examples
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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. There are many reasons for
this
, wide variety of
games
can be one of the clear examples. It is easy to install a thousand
of
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apply
show examples
games
with their features. And it
also
demonstrates the laziness of our society.
For instance
, it is much
more easy
Replace the words
easier
show examples
to stay at home and waste their time
with
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apply
show examples
gaming ,
instead
of going to gyms or playgrounds and getting tiredness . Eventually, we are living in the innovated and technically developed century ,
therefore
they chose online
games
. It is obvious that
such
changes couldn’t be a positive development , because the bad consequences significantly outweigh all of the benefits . As I said before playing on laptops gets us laziness.
Hence
it leads young people to physical weakness. Another paramount example is social inactivity. Communication is an invaluable skill in our days, it means that youngsters lose the opportunity to upgrade themselves, more precisely their communicating ability by seating at home and wasting
free-time
Correct your spelling
free time
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alone.
In addition
, sometimes medical problems are caused by online gaming .
For example
, illness of spine and eye diseases .
To conclude
, young people decided to choose to game, even
it
Correct word choice
though it
show examples
is clear that sport is a better option for spending
free-time
Correct your spelling
free time
show examples
compared to their choice.
Submitted by Deadline 8th April IELTS on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • allure
  • captivate
  • supervise
  • accessible
  • scarcity
  • safer alternative
  • peer pressure
  • educational tools
  • cognitive skills
  • implications
  • obesity
  • poor posture
  • hand-eye coordination
  • problem-solving abilities
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