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Band 5.5

Competitiveness is seen as a positive quality for people to have in many societies today. How does this competitiveness affect individuals? Is it a positive or negative quality?

#competitiveness #quality #people #societies #individuals
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Recently, more and more people are required to develop a good quality of being competitive in different circumstances.
This
 situation has a wide range of influences on citizens and I think its advantages outweigh
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
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. When we come into the world, we are in a competitive environment. As a student, we compete to get higher scores in order to enter a famous university. After working, with high pressures, all employees face competition about high salaries and promotions.
Due to
 the long-term effect, competitiveness gradually runs deep in every individual so
that
Correct word choice
apply
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the elder
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
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 the next generation to overcome all rivals in any circumstance. There is no doubt that too much competitiveness may lead to stressful and fickle societies, in my point of view, it is essential to build up competitive spirits in the present social conditions.
Firstly
, it is more likely to boost personal potential in competitions, exploring surprising abilities and improving our self-confidence. More importantly, if most employees are
competitive
Replace the word
competent
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 to deal with any issue in working, the
company
 will gain great benefits
as well as
 provide financial
supports
Fix the agreement mistake
support
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 to the local government.
For instance
, a famous technology
company
 named Huawei requires all hirelings to work in competitions. In a high-intensity working environment, the
company
 make a huge contribution
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 tax revenue and technological creativity, meanwhile, cultivating many talents and influencing other
company
 culture. In conclusion, competitiveness is becoming one of the most important qualities nowadays and I do believe that we can gain advantages from competitive societies.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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