Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays,
along with
the thriving development of advanced technology, every
people
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person
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possesses mobile devices
such
as
smartphones
or tablets, and
children
are no exception. So it is likely for them to stick their eyes to the screen for many hours which can severely affect the well-being of
children
physically and mentally. In my opinion,
this
tendency is a bit of a negative development. On the one hand, it is undeniable that technology has become more enhanced and accessible to everyone.
In addition
, there are many features integrating these mobile devices, especially the Internet - the reason why
children
spend hours on
smartphones
. To make it clearer,
children
are easily distracted and have a sense of exploration and the Internet is full of diverse content that can amuse them.
For instance
, many kids have a tendency to love playing video games and watching cartoon series, which are easily accessed with just a smartphone with
wifi
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a Wi-Fi
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connection.
Hence
, they are likely to be addicted to
smartphones
because these devices contain a world of entertainment.
On the other hand
, spending hours on
smartphones
and tablets can cause many issues to
children
's health. Since they are addicted to colourful and joyful games on
smartphones
, their eyes will be detrimentally affected by high energy visible - a light released by most gadgets.
As a result
, the majority of primary students nowadays have to wear glasses because of short-eye-sighted conditions.
Furthermore
, they may develop many mental problems not only because of the toxic content on social media but
also
internal factors.
For example
,
children
’s childhood will not be fulfilled because they rather spend most of their time on video games than playing football with their peers.
Consequently
, autism and childhood depression are inevitable. In conclusion, I strongly believe that
children
have a tendency to stick to the screen because of the fantastic entertainment it offers. Significantly, their mind and physical well-being will be severely demolished
due to
unpleasant parts of the social platforms.
Submitted by writing65dl on

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task response
The ideas presented are generally relevant to the task but could be more focused and specific. More concrete examples and evidence would strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and clear, providing a good framework for the essay. However, the structure and development of main points need more coherence and depth.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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