IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important as other subjects to a child’s development, and they should be compulsory in high school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#art #classes #subjects #child’s #development #school
The role of
art
lessons
 in secondary schools has been a subject of debate.
While
 some argue that these
lessons
 should be optional, others, including myself, believe they should be compulsory. Those who oppose making
art
lessons
 compulsory often argue that academic subjects like mathematics and science are more important. They believe that
students
 should spend more time on these subjects to succeed in their future careers.
However
, I firmly believe that
art
lessons
 should be compulsory in secondary schools.
Firstly
,
art
lessons
 can broaden
students
' horizons and enrich their hobbies. By learning to paint or draw,
students
 can explore their creativity and develop a new interest.
Secondly
,
art
lessons
 can help
students
 envision their future. Some
students
 may discover their passion for
art
 through these compulsory
lessons
 and decide to pursue a career in the
art
 field. Even for those who do not become professional artists, the skills and knowledge gained from
art
lessons
 can still be beneficial in their future life and work. In conclusion, despite the importance of academic subjects, the benefits of
art
lessons
 should not be overlooked.
Therefore
, I firmly believe that
art
lessons
 should be an integral part of the curriculum in secondary schools.
Submitted by 285275402 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To strengthen your essay, try to incorporate a wider range of examples and more detailed arguments supporting your position. This will make your essay more persuasive and engaging.
coherence and cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, consider using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly. Additionally, structuring your paragraphs more clearly around one main idea each can help improve the reader's understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: