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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared

The charts below show the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared
#show #results #survey #adult #education #first #adults #study #people #costs
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The given charts illustrate the outcomes of a questionnaire regarding adult education. The bar
chart
Use synonyms
 conveys the reasons why adults pursue education and the pie
chart
Use synonyms
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
 how
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society believes the costs should be shared.
According to
Linking Words
 the
chart
Use synonyms
, 40 adults choose to study because they have
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
show examples
 in the subject which is the major reason
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the given
chart
Use synonyms
. The second prime
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
 for
following
Change the article
the following
show examples
 education is to gain qualifications which only has a slight difference of two
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the first reason. The smallest number among all reasons was to meet
people
Use synonyms
 which only 9
people
Use synonyms
 had mentioned it.
People
Use synonyms
 think that 40%, which is nearly half of the whole
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cost, should be
coverd
Correct your spelling
covered
 by the individual who is
pursueing
Correct your spelling
pursuing
 studying.
Least
Correct article usage
The least
show examples
 amount of costs
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
, should be covered by
tax payers
Correct your spelling
taxpayers
show examples
 which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 25%, exactly one-fourth of the entire cost.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 most
people
Use synonyms
 decide to follow their studies because of their
interst
Correct your spelling
interest
 in that subject or in order to get qualifications.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
 ought to be
payed
Correct your spelling
paid
show examples
 mostly by the individual.
Submitted by mehrafarin084 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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