IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people,however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Financial
progress
Use synonyms
 In many countries around the world, improving the economic system
considered
Add a missing verb
is considered
show examples
 the priority of their goals.
However
Linking Words
, many people found other
progress
Use synonyms
 is much more important than the economy,
whereas
Linking Words
 others agree that the economy is the fundamental unit of development.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both points of view. I strongly agree
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 that the economic system is responsible to maintain the placement of the
country
Use synonyms
. It's obvious that the financial aspects control the
country
Use synonyms
's strength.
For instance
Linking Words
, Nowadays, countries which lead the world have strong financial systems and strategies.
As a result
Linking Words
, because of the money, some countries became powerful and play a significant role in the world. Money can help all other
progress
Use synonyms
 to grow, so that makes it essential to the governments.
For example
Linking Words
, a few years ago, a
country
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as Saudi Arabia didn't have world-class educational
progress
Use synonyms
. Currently, they have managed successfully to build prestigious schools and universities. Contrary to what I believe, some individuals found economic
progress
Use synonyms
 useless. As they believe, that Medical, educational, and military
progress
Use synonyms
 are beneficial to be stronger.
Therefore
Linking Words
, when governments set goals to achieve, these aspects must be their elementary objectives.
To conclude
Linking Words
, If the government want to build
Correct article usage
a
show examples
great county, it should focus on building efficient economic plans. In fact, as soon as they start taking it seriously,
this
Linking Words
 will lead to positive impacts on their
country
Use synonyms
. Money is the base of success.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: