Children today play very violent games. This must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities of the world. What are your opinions on this?

#children #games #reason #violence #crime #cities #world

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There is no doubt that these days violent

games

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are very common among children. The question is, is the main

reason

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for the

increase

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violence

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and crime playing violent

games

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? In

this

Linking Words

essay, I am going to discuss

this

Linking Words

view and draw my personal opinion. In terms of view, the

kids

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use what they watch and play with it in real life with their siblings and their friends. The main

reason

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given to support

this

Linking Words

claim is that

kids

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' brains do not think in a violent way until they watch it. To illustrate, fighting

games

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teach children how to self-defence from anyone by

violence

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In other words

Linking Words

kids

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will think that nothing wrong with brutality. They will grow with these thoughts and make

violence

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and crime

increase

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in future. In terms of other views, a violent

environment

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is another

reason

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for the

increase

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in crime. The main

reason

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given to support

this

Linking Words

claim is that the first thing that impacts the child is the place that he was growing in it. To illustrate, when a child grows up with their parents they use brutality he will use brutality with others in the future.

In other words

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, childhood is the period that the child consisted of his personality from it. So the violent

environment

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made violent children and rise up crimes in the future. In conclusion,

although

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the violent

environment

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made a violent generation, the violent

games

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made it too.

Therefore

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, I believe that the most

reason

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for the

increase

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violence

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and crimes in the wide world is the brutal

environment

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for

kids

Use synonyms

Submitted by jqanber4 on Mon Mar 06 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Children today play very violent games. This must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities of the world. What are your opinions on this?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, prison is seen as the solution to crime. However, some people believe that giving people a better education is a better way to prevent them from committing crimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these ideas? Give your opinions based on your knowledge and expeiences.

Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?