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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#tables #information #sales #coffee #bananas #five #european #countries #features #comparisons
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The given table
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 about revenue which got from Fair-trade
labeled
Change the spelling
labelled
show examples
 coffee and
banana
Use synonyms
 in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
,
Switzerland
Use synonyms
,
Belgium
Use synonyms
 and
Sweden
Use synonyms
 in five years.
Overall
Linking Words
sales
Use synonyms
 of coffee had
rosen
Correct your spelling
risen
Rosen
 in all five countries during
given
Correct article usage
the given
show examples
 period of time
while
Linking Words
 trading of
banana
Use synonyms
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 declined in 2 countries.
Firstly
Linking Words
, income from coffee
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased from 1.5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 to 20
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 between 1994 to 2000
while
Linking Words
 it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased by 3
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
millions
Correct your spelling
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
euros, 200000 , 700000 and 20000 euros in
Switzerland
Use synonyms
, Denmark,
Belgium
Use synonyms
 and
Sweden
Use synonyms
 in order. The highest revenue of
cowas
Correct your spelling
was
cows
 reported in
Switzerland
Use synonyms
when
Correct word choice
while
show examples
Sweden
Use synonyms
 sold the lowest amount.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
sales
Use synonyms
 of
banana
Use synonyms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
drastically increased by more than 3 folds in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 during
given
Correct article usage
the given
show examples
 5 years by keeping
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the highest trader of
Use synonyms
banana
Fix the agreement mistake
bananas
show examples
 in all those years.
Amount
Correct article usage
The amount
show examples
 of money earned from trading
Use synonyms
banana
Fix the agreement mistake
bananas
show examples
also
Linking Words
 rose
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in Denmark and
Switzerland
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 it was fallen moderately in
Belgium
Use synonyms
 and
Sweden
Use synonyms
. Almost all the
sales
Use synonyms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
1994
Correct article usage
the 1994
show examples
 to 2000 period of time except
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 reductions
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
banana
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 in
Belgium
Use synonyms
 and
Sweden
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by madhuherath.manny on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words banana, switzerland, belgium, sweden, sales with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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