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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some prople say that children who are given pocket money every week will have lesser money problems when they become adults. To what extent do you agree of disagree?

#prople #children #pocket #money #week #adults
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To being with, When children receive
money
 from
parents
 for their weekly spending activities and many more
things
 they do not face
money
-related problems in future when they will be adults.
Hence
, I totally disagree with
this
 thing because it has too many impacts on children's futures.
This
 is explained
further
 in the essay. Nowadays,
parents
 are giving
money
 to their children their
pocket
money
 which they are spending on too many activities they will be buying expensive
things
 like clothes, gadgets and so on, or spending
money
 on a game zone to play gaming.
This
pocket
money
 will impact the child's future when they become younger. It is giving the impression on them that
parents
 will always be there to provide them with
money
 whether it is related to studying or buying phones, the latest gadgets any other
things
. Once they become younger they think we do not require doing any
things
 in regard to
money
 as we have
parents
 who will pay for us and complete their demands.
Additionally
, once the child will younger they will not adapt to the growth of their personal life and
also
 cause they even don't like to do work/jobs for earning the
money
.
This
 will affect their career.
For example
, when a child spends their
pocket
money
 on games or any expensive item to buy so they will get a habituation of particular
things
, which is not good. In conclusion, I firmly believe that giving
pocket
money
 to toddle is not good and safe for their future, as once they become younger they will not like to do jobs and duties to earn the
money
.
Also
, once they become adults they will depend on their
parents
 to survive the rest of life.
Submitted by mausam2723 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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