Some people think that people moving to a new country should accept the new culture of the foreign country. Others think that they should live as a seperate minority group with a different lifestyle.

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Whether or not, individuals relocating to a different country should adopt the
culture
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of their new home is an ongoing controversial discussion point.
This
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writer maintains that it is more beneficial for these residents to embrace the
culture
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of their new environment on account of social integration and economic opportunities in spite of cultural identity preservation. It must be obvious to acknowledge that assimilating into the local
culture
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supports opening the new door to an inclusive environment for people who visit abroad. When
immigrants
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adopt the language and other regional norms, it assists in creating a unified society where everyone shares common values and practices. Not only does
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connection facilitate smoother communication, but it
also
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reduces the risk of misunderstandings and helps
immigrants
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navigate their new environment. As soon as residents can accommodate the
culture
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of the new areas, they are more likely to participate in community activities and social networks, thereby fostering respect between them and the natives.
This
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scenario can occur in the educational system, with lower social tension and integrated students from diverse backgrounds often report fewer instances of bullying and discrimination in schools. Some,
however
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, suggest that it is essential for maintaining their unique lifestyle and living as a separate minority group.
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opposing viewpoint arises from the deliberation of valuing cultural diversity and the preservation of cultural identities. With
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in mind, advocates of
this
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position maintain that it allows for a mosaic of cultures where differences are celebrated rather than assimilated into a dominant
culture
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.
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,
this
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separation can
also
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lead to social isolation and segregation. When minority groups opt to remain isolated, they often encounter limited access to crucial resources and job prospects, which can lead to economic challenges, which can create divisions and foster social tensions.
As a result
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,
such
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a dynamic can hinder the development of a cohesive and inclusive community, ultimately affecting both the minority group and the broader society negatively. From
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writer's experience, a shared national identity is crucial for opening up more economic and social opportunities for
immigrants
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. By doing that, they demonstrate a remarkable aptitude for adapting to the educational and professional landscape of their new country of residence. Thanks to
this
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adjustment, individuals would find more opportunities to develop their career paths and find stable employment. Take Germany as a contextual example, where
immigrants
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who take the languages and cultural norms of their new country, their prospects for securing fulfilling careers are brighter. With a focus on language development, cultural understanding, and building professional networks, these programs prepare participants for navigating the job market. To recapitulate, those moving to foreign countries should be open to adopting cultural norms and practices owing to community and career.
Therefore
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, individuals undertaking the process of relocation to a foreign nation are highly encouraged.
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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task prompt by presenting a clear argument. However, you could improve by explicitly presenting counterarguments more prominently before countering them. This will demonstrate a more balanced view.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next by consistently using linking words and phrases. This will help guide the reader through your argument seamlessly.
task achievement
Your essay makes good use of relevant examples to support your points. Nevertheless, try to diversify the types of examples you use, such as statistical data or anecdotes, to further enrich your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a solid structure, with a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame your argument.
task achievement
You successfully support your main points with relevant examples, making your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of your argument is strong, making it easy for the reader to follow your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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