Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working days or in the free time,and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise ?What can be done about this problem.

#people #exercise #time #health

Undoubtedly Exercises keep an individual healthy.Recently it has been found that the majority workers practice very less or neglect to fitness exercise during the working days or

they're

Correct your spelling

their

show examples

relaxation

time

as a consequence

to that, detrimental to health.,

Personally

Add a comma

,Personally

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I believe that the hectic works and long working hours are the two main reasons why these employees are reluctant to

this

Add a missing verb

do this

show examples

Firstly

, A large numbers of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

working communities have to achieve a huge target in order to satisfy the employer.An obvious example of

this

can be a

person

who works for a private school as a teacher.After the busy school ,hours the

person

has to check the homework of various subjects of the students and

also

determine the lesson plan for the next day.

Secondly

,to accomplish

this

target the

person

has to spend long hours to finish it off. Not only

this

, the

person

has to take some family responsibility and

time

for kids.

Hence

,there is no opportunity to devote

time

to their own fitness. The best way to counter

this

problem is that the

life

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

style

of employees

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

to be changed by adopting a strong routine

life

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

style

.For Instant,the teacher can reduce the workload by giving less homework of engaging oneself in a healthy

life

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

style

where the provision of physical exercise

time

is included. or the

person

can change the means of transport to go to the Job site. In conclusion,

This

shows that by reducing hectic workload and proper

time

management,these working personals can motivate themself as an individual to engage in some physical exercises in order to keep their body fit which can

also

helpful

Replace the word

help

show examples

to their work.Government should promote or engage in some educational programs to inspire them to lead a healthy

life

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

style

Submitted by saomyakrsna on Tue Mar 07 2023

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

288 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Time constraints
Sedentary lifestyle
Passive leisure activities
Workplace wellness programs
Active commuting
Subsidized
Public awareness
Health benefits
Incentivizing
Accessible public spaces

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Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working days or in the free time,and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise ?What can be done about this problem.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Popular events like the football World Cup and other international occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotion in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

News stories on TV and in newspapers are very often accompanied by pictures. Some people say that these pictures are more effective than words. What is your opinion about this?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this?

Some people think that manufactures and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual welbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?