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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development
Nowadays
children
 tend to use their
phone
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phones
show examples
 for relatively a long duration
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 day.
This
 trend has
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
 because of many factors.
While
 acknowledging the educational reason that may be one of the factors to
overuseing
Correct your spelling
overusing
overuse
 phones, I believe that it is a negative development
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 for their
health
. The following paragraphs will give
further
argumentations
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arguments
show examples
 on
this
. First of all, the main reason for
children
 to excessively use phones is
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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because there are many intriguing activities that
children
 can do with
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. Watching videos or playing
gamesvideos
Correct your spelling
games videos
game videos
 are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
examples of
this
. Nowadays, rather than
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 outside
toand
Correct your spelling
and
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
 physical activities or traditional games with friends,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
phones
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phone
show examples
 offers enormous
also
 engaging activities for
children
.
Secondly
, entertainment sometimes is not always the reason, there are some
children
 that needed smartphones for educational purposes
such
 as attending online classes or looking for learning materials.
However
,
what ever
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whatever
show examples
 the case is,
to use
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using
show examples
 a phone
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
big
Add an article
a big
the big
show examples
 amount of time per day is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 one's
health
. The most apparent effect of
this
 is the effect on
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
eye sight
Correct your spelling
eyesight
show examples
such
 as myopia, and
catharact
Correct your spelling
cataract
cataracts
, the blue ray radiation from the screen will
became
Change the verb form
become
show examples
 increasingly dangerous if it occurs for a long time.
Additionally
, when
children
 are addicted to a
smarphone
Correct your spelling
smartphone
, it could trigger them to apply a sedentary lifestyle and will lead them to more
health
 problems
such
 as obesity. All in all,
although
 the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 overusing
phonesthe
Correct your spelling
phones the
phone the
phones
phone's
Change noun form
phone
show examples
 overuse are varied, it is still
consider
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considered
show examples
 a negative development particularly when a child's screen time is too much.
Hence
,
this
 could
results
Change the verb form
result
show examples
 in some
health
 problems.
Submitted by iamlearner9697 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
What to do next:
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