IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagram below gives information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies. Summarise the main information and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below gives information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies. Summarise the main information and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given diagram shows the process of manufacturing frozen fish pies from industrial production to delivery.
Overall
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, we can see that the production is divided into two different lines, one for potatoes and the other for fresh salmon. There are many stages involved which will arrive at the dispatch of the final
product
Use synonyms
.
To begin
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 with, potatoes are cleaned,
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then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
 peeled with a tool. After that, the
product
Use synonyms
 is sliced into tiny pieces and
then
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 boiled in a hot can. Following its chilling process, the fries are stored in different bags.
On the other hand
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, fresh salmon is covered in lemon juice and salt,
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then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
 it is put to steam in an oven. The skin and bones are removed from the salmon and inspected to avoid
further
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 incidents when the
product
Use synonyms
 will be ready to deliver.
Furthermore
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, peas are prepared and put into a bowl with a sauce which was prepared
also
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 in advance. The two production lines are now converged by wrapping the final
product
Use synonyms
 and move into a freezer.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words product with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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