Some people think government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help prevent illness and disease. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #government #focus #pollution #illness #disease

It is not a secret that we are all influenced by environmental pollution and housing problems nowadays.

Therefore

, there has been so much discussion revolving around the issue of whether

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

ought to concentrate on improving these issues to contribute to reducing the rate of human beings who are suffering from illness. The reasons why I partially agree will be provided in

this

essay.

To begin

with, I opine that these complicated harmful problems will be only solved by administrations and they have potential effects on us. As our planet is becoming more toxic, a variety of unheard diseases have been identified in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

modern society. Not only that, houses in urban areas are tuning into more sacrifice presences because a multitude of citizens

want

Change the verb form

wants

show examples

to move to these areas. If we have to escape from these

phenomenons

Replace the word

phenomena

show examples

, the only thing we are able to

rely

Add the preposition

onrely

uponrely

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

authority.

For instance

, executives can increase the number of jobs in the

countrysides

Fix the agreement mistake

countryside

show examples

to prevent

housing

Correct article usage

the housing

show examples

crisis.

In addition

, they have

power

Change the article

the power

show examples

to control or limit the overwhelming use of chemical substances.

That is

why I cannot disagree with the statement.

Nevertheless

, individuals should put effort and energy to keep themselves from diseases as well. These troubles are not only related to environments but

also

a considerable number of factors exist. Among them, personal lifestyles have the most major effect.

For example

, a person who has consumed loads of

stimulatively

Correct your spelling

stimulative

sugary or salty food is more likely to have diabetes and heart disease than a human who has had meals healthily

according to

the study.

Thus

, I totally believe that every single person's trying is needed as well. In conclusion, I admit that the administration's control has to be involved to advance the places where we live

Change preposition

apply

show examples

as it is the only institute

that is

holding a key. Despite

the

Correct your spelling

this

show examples

fact, we will not be able to observe changes if we don't alter ourselves first because the way

behave

Change the verb form

behaves

show examples

influences

greatly

Correct pronoun usage

us greatly

show examples

Submitted by ksl4308 on Wed Mar 08 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

330 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Some people say that children should spend their free time on clubs and extra classes. Other, however, believe they should spend their leisure time doing activities with their families. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, nobody can ignore the media effects that have on human life. In this essay, I want to examine the effects of media on society and I express the development pros and cons.
5
band
Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some people believe that children should be taught by their parents about how to function as useful members of society, while others believe that sending children to educational institutions is the best way for them to study this. Although the latter opinion can be beneficial in some cases, I believe that family upbringing plays a more important role in educating children to be good parts of the community.
5
band
Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
According to a few masses, all the wild animals, which are considered to be more valuable and need to be protected, have led to this question among the rest of the people that only a few wild animals rather need to be protected than all. In my opinion, although protecting a few wild animals has certain benefits, giving protection to all seems to be more advantageous.
7.5
band
Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
The debate over the freedom of choice in university education is a longstanding one. On one hand, there are proponents of allowing students to pursue their passions, regardless of their perceived practicality. On the other hand, there are those who argue that focusing on subjects with clear future utility, such as science and technology, is the more prudent approach. This essay will explore both perspectives and provide a reasoned opinion on the matter.
6.5
band
Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to keep themselves occupied on their own.
It is suggested by some proportion of people that adolescents should pass their leisure time by participating in group activities while others opine that they should find ways to keep themselves busy. According to my opinion, Although, both have their own advantages and disadvantages, involving in well-organised groups provide more benefits to children as compared to other notion.

Some people think government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help prevent illness and disease. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people say that children should spend their free time on clubs and extra classes. Other, however, believe they should spend their leisure time doing activities with their families. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to keep themselves occupied on their own.