Some people think government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help prevent illness and disease. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #government #focus #pollution #illness #disease

It is not a secret that we are all influenced by environmental pollution and housing problems nowadays.

Therefore

, there has been so much discussion revolving around the issue of whether

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

ought to concentrate on improving these issues to contribute to reducing the rate of human beings who are suffering from illness. The reasons why I partially agree will be provided in

this

essay.

To begin

with, I opine that these complicated harmful problems will be only solved by administrations and they have potential effects on us. As our planet is becoming more toxic, a variety of unheard diseases have been identified in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

modern society. Not only that, houses in urban areas are tuning into more sacrifice presences because a multitude of citizens

want

Change the verb form

wants

show examples

to move to these areas. If we have to escape from these

phenomenons

Replace the word

phenomena

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, the only thing we are able to

rely

Add the preposition

onrely

uponrely

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

authority.

For instance

, executives can increase the number of jobs in the

countrysides

Fix the agreement mistake

countryside

show examples

to prevent

housing

Correct article usage

the housing

show examples

crisis.

In addition

, they have

power

Change the article

the power

show examples

to control or limit the overwhelming use of chemical substances.

That is

why I cannot disagree with the statement.

Nevertheless

, individuals should put effort and energy to keep themselves from diseases as well. These troubles are not only related to environments but

also

a considerable number of factors exist. Among them, personal lifestyles have the most major effect.

For example

, a person who has consumed loads of

stimulatively

Correct your spelling

stimulative

sugary or salty food is more likely to have diabetes and heart disease than a human who has had meals healthily

according to

the study.

Thus

, I totally believe that every single person's trying is needed as well. In conclusion, I admit that the administration's control has to be involved to advance the places where we live

Change preposition

apply

show examples

as it is the only institute

that is

holding a key. Despite

the

Correct your spelling

this

show examples

fact, we will not be able to observe changes if we don't alter ourselves first because the way

behave

Change the verb form

behaves

show examples

influences

greatly

Correct pronoun usage

us greatly

show examples

Submitted by ksl4308 on Wed Mar 08 2023

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

330 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help prevent illness and disease. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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