More and more fathers are taking a break from their careers, so that they can stay home and take care of their children while their wives work. This is better for the family than having both paretns work full time. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#fathers #break #careers #home #care #children #wives #work #paretns #time

The number of fathers taking some rest from their careers to stay back at home and look after their kids

while

the mothers

work

has been on the rise, many believe that

this

is better for the family than having both

parents

work

full time. I completely agree with

this

opinion.

Firstly

, a

child

is not self-dependent and needs an elder to look after them. If both

parents

have gone out for

work

they usually appoint a babysitter to take care of their children not only does

this

make them miss their development stages but

also

the

child

's first moments.

For instance

, supposedly the kid is of 3 years and has been left with a babysitter, and the

parents

will miss out on the cute little things a 3-year-old tends to do.

Instead

Add a comma

,Instead

show examples

they will be experienced by the person looking after the

child

Hence

, in the

future

Add a comma

,future

show examples

the

parents

won't have the memories of the things the adult used to do as a

child

Secondly

, the

child

fails to connect on an emotional level with the

parents

if they are not around in their growing years. Like any other human

being

Add a comma

,being

show examples

even children need constant emotional support and connection from their loved ones, when both

parents

work

full time they are not able to provide their kid with it.

For example

, when a

child

has participated in the school's annual day and on the day of the event if the

parents

are not present because they were working, the kid will be left heartbroken and disappointed. When

such

trends continue to happen the

child

grows distant from their mother and father. In conclusion, it is good for the family to have one parent working part-time as by doing so they are able to provide their children with the emotional support needed in their growing years by being around.

Submitted by mihirm05 on Thu Mar 09 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

309 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
: Write about the following topic: A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important.
In the current time, people tend to judge the value of other people by the position in society and wealth. Traditional aspects such as kindness, honour, honesty, and trust do not seem to be important anymore. I agree, but not completely. In this essay, it will be discussed both sides and some examples to illustrate this position.
5
band
A company offers a temporary job with no salary, but it helps you to gain some work experience. Write a letter to the manager of the company. In your letter, -introduce your previous work experience -tell the manager which department you want to work -describe what expectation you have from the job
I hope you are doing great. My name is Tajinder Singh. I am writing this letter to express my interest in latest job offered by your organization as a part-time employee. Currently, I am in last semester of my master degree in software engineering.
4.5
band
Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
People have different views about the major environmental issues for us.It is considered by some that the significant problem is the absence of specific creatures while others guess there are several problems.I would argue that the former is the main environmental issue.
4
band
Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Studying more than one major is pretty common these days, but some worry about lack of expertise compared to single major. In this essay, we will discuss both views and figure out which one could be better.
5.5
band
You have just received a credit card statement from your bank. The statement lists a number of expensive purchases that you are sure you did not make. Write a letter to the bank manager. In the letter: • Introduce yourself. • Explain that you did not buy the items listed. • Say what you would like the bank to do to fix the problem.
This is in regards to the faulty credit card statement that I received your bank today.

More and more fathers are taking a break from their careers, so that they can stay home and take care of their children while their wives work. This is better for the family than having both paretns work full time. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

: Write about the following topic: A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important.

A company offers a temporary job with no salary, but it helps you to gain some work experience. Write a letter to the manager of the company. In your letter, -introduce your previous work experience -tell the manager which department you want to work -describe what expectation you have from the job

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.