More and more fathers are taking a break from their careers, so that they can stay home and take care of their children while their wives work. This is better for the family than having both paretns work full time. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#fathers #break #careers #home #care #children #wives #work #paretns #time

The number of fathers taking some rest from their careers to stay back at home and look after their kids

while

the mothers

work

has been on the rise, many believe that

this

is better for the family than having both

parents

work

full time. I completely agree with

this

opinion.

Firstly

, a

child

is not self-dependent and needs an elder to look after them. If both

parents

have gone out for

work

they usually appoint a babysitter to take care of their children not only does

this

make them miss their development stages but

also

the

child

's first moments.

For instance

, supposedly the kid is of 3 years and has been left with a babysitter, and the

parents

will miss out on the cute little things a 3-year-old tends to do.

Instead

Add a comma

,Instead

show examples

they will be experienced by the person looking after the

child

Hence

, in the

future

Add a comma

,future

show examples

the

parents

won't have the memories of the things the adult used to do as a

child

Secondly

, the

child

fails to connect on an emotional level with the

parents

if they are not around in their growing years. Like any other human

being

Add a comma

,being

show examples

even children need constant emotional support and connection from their loved ones, when both

parents

work

full time they are not able to provide their kid with it.

For example

, when a

child

has participated in the school's annual day and on the day of the event if the

parents

are not present because they were working, the kid will be left heartbroken and disappointed. When

such

trends continue to happen the

child

grows distant from their mother and father. In conclusion, it is good for the family to have one parent working part-time as by doing so they are able to provide their children with the emotional support needed in their growing years by being around.

Submitted by mihirm05 on Thu Mar 09 2023

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

309 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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More and more fathers are taking a break from their careers, so that they can stay home and take care of their children while their wives work. This is better for the family than having both paretns work full time. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many Cities, problems related to overpopulation are becoming more common. Some government are now encouraging businesses and individuals to move out of cities to the rural areas. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think hard work and determination bring sucess. Others think other factors such as money and good appearance are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries today, people are having their first child when they are older. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?