Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #measures

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One of the most controversial

issue

Change to a plural noun

issues

show examples

around the world is

health

Use synonyms

. some

people

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believe providing

Use synonyms

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

faficilties

Correct your spelling

facilities

is the best way to enhance public

health

Use synonyms

. Meanwhile,some opine,

this

Linking Words

is not

Correct article usage

the

show examples

only way,and there are many other factors that we need to improve

this

Linking Words

condition.I can neither agree nor disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement.In

this

Linking Words

essay,I explain both

view

Change to a plural noun

views

show examples

and I give my opinion with some examples. On the one hand,the first group believe increasing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the number of

Use synonyms

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities

Use synonyms

is the major reason that

help

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helps

show examples

people

Use synonyms

to be more healthy.

Beacuse

Correct your spelling

Because

when

people

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can access

Change preposition

apply

show examples

many

Use synonyms

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities

Use synonyms

club

Fix the agreement mistake

clubs

show examples

gym

Fix the agreement mistake

gyms

show examples

,they encourage to use them and it is

the

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show examples

good idea to motivate them to exercise and add it to their routine lifestyle.All in all,in some cases it could be true because

this

Linking Words

group

also

Linking Words

think,it might

hard

Add a missing verb

be hard

show examples

for

people

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deprived

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a deprived

show examples

area

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areas

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to reach

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sport

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sports

show examples

facilities

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and go to

gym

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the gym

show examples

and it is the biggest reason that they pay

Correct your spelling

not

show examples

enough attention to their

health

Use synonyms

and

Use synonyms

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

activities.

On the other hand

Linking Words

second

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the second

show examples

group think,to tackle

with

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apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

issue we need

further

Linking Words

factors.the reason is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

they believe,even with

increasing

Replace the word

increases

show examples

in the number of

Use synonyms

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities

Use synonyms

we can not enforce

people

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to use them.

Therefore

Linking Words

,we should enhance

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people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

awareness about

health

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and suitable nutrition in their life.

governmet

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government

in addition

Linking Words

,have

a huge responsibilities

Correct the article-noun agreement

a huge responsibility

huge responsibilities

show examples

toward their citizen.They can provide some appropriate

program

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programs

show examples

for children in schools and for other

people

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

tv or even stall banners

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show examples

streets

Correct article usage

the streets

show examples

to give them profitable information.

Linking Words

Further more

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

show examples

,they should understand not only routine exercise can be useful for

productive

Correct article usage

a productive

show examples

lifestyle but

also

Linking Words

nutritions

Correct word choice

that nutritions

show examples

such

Linking Words

as vegetables and fruits are helpful for

amend

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amending

show examples

of public

health

Use synonyms

To sum up

Linking Words

nevertheless

Linking Words

,the

government

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government's

show examples

duties in

this

Linking Words

issue

shoul

Correct your spelling

should

not be taken lightly,individuals

also

Linking Words

should take

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

even small steps to make

this

Linking Words

condition better. In my view, with the cooperation of

both

Add a comma

,both

show examples

we can gain the desired result.

Submitted by marzieh.kiani on Thu Mar 09 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
41
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

314 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
sports facilities
physical activity
exercise
chronic diseases
heart disease
obesity
inclusivity
participation
safe environment
social interaction
community engagement
comprehensive approach
health education programs
environmental factors
healthcare infrastructure
quality healthcare services
public health initiatives

What to do next:

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More and more people are choosing to eat healthy food and making time to exercise regularly. Why is this happening and what can we do to encourage this?
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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

We cannot help everyone in the World that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries so what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that newspaper are best media to learn and get information from, while others believe that internet is a better source.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

More and more people are choosing to eat healthy food and making time to exercise regularly. Why is this happening and what can we do to encourage this?